About Brenda

August 26, 2009

The Days of Seeming Futility

Filed under: Christian living,Uncategorized,Waiting on God,confident living,discouragement,next step in life,parenting — Brenda @ 4:56 pm

Today is one of those days I could easily say, “God, I think I misunderstood You. I don’t know what I’m doing and I don’t know what You want me to do. I think I’m in someone else’s calling and I want to find the way out.”

Have you been there? Nothing is working. All your efforts seems to produce a whole lot of nothing. Maybe you are there now. In your

Job–you are giving your best but you aren’t being recognized for it and you see no results.
Marriage–you are trying to be loving and respectful to your spouse but he doesn’t seem to notice.
Parenting–you are doing everything you know to do and your teen is still rebellious.
Ministry–you are pouring your best ideas and effort into your ministry but you aren’t seeing any progress.

To make all this worse, you are crying out to God and He seems silent. I had a beat-my-fists-into-the-pillow fit with God this morning. What does He want me to do? When will He show me? When will He supply what and who I need? I feel like I have given my best and the rest is up to Him, but He is silent. I’m not seeing results nor am I getting direction. What now?

Get out your frustration with God. Be honest with Him. We can’t hear God when we are steeping in frustration and dripping in self-pity. In Psalm 13:1,2 we get a glimpse of David’s emotions when he is frustrated with his ongoing circumstances. “How long, O LORD? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me? How long must I wrestle with my thoughts and every day have sorrow in my heart? How long will my enemy triumph over me?”
Ask God for direction and help. David continues his prayer, “Look on me and answer, O LORD my God. Give light to my eyes, or I will sleep in death” (verse 3). Don’t believe the lie that God has deserted you. God promises to give us direction and wisdom when we ask (James 1:5-8).
Look to God for help–don’t fret and worry. And definitelydo not allow your thoughts to spiral downward in despair. David shows us how, “But I trust in your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in your salvation” (verse 5). God is love and He can never change. I Corinthians 13 shows us why we can trust in God’s love for us. It teaches us that God is always patient with us. God is always kind to us. God is not easily angered with us. God never fails us.
Praise God and remember the past times He has come through for you. ”I will sing to the LORD, for he has been good to me” (verse 6). Nothing helps restore our perspective like getting our focus back on the goodness of God. Nothing helps restore our hope for the future than remembering how God has been faithful to us in the past. Sure, I’m frustrated and you are too, but God has not deserted us in the past and He isn’t going to go against His character and desert us now.

After my beat-my-fists-into-the-pillow fit with God and I have my eyes back on Him. I know He has a plan for me and He is working it. He is God and He doesn’t have to check with me before He acts. He wants me to trust Him even when I can’t see what He is doing. I am ready to confidently live my calling by doing the things I know He has given me to do. Today that is laundry, this blog, and preparing Katie’s birthday celebration. I will wait on God for direction for the rest.

I would love to hear how you are confidently living your calling in your parenting, marriage, job, or ministry in the midst of seeming futility.

Comments (0)

August 18, 2009

The Principle of Neglect

Filed under: Christian living,confident living,next step in life,priorities,saying no — Brenda @ 8:33 pm

One last day of summer fun!

For the past week or so I have been neglecting you. So sorry if you came to my website/blog only to find a stale post. However, I meant to neglect you. I did it on purpose so I could live my purpose. Today is the first day of Kerry’s sophomore year, so we set apart the last few days for mom/daughter/sister fun.

Last week we shopped, ate out, swam, and hung out. I took Kerry for a makeover–her first real makeup. The girls had friends over so that meant lots of cooking and baking for me. (Don’t be fooled. Teen girls can eat alot!) They also spent the night so I made up beds in the family room and for the following couple of days I did piles of laundry.

We had a great time. But you can see how I didn’t have time to write. And that is fine with me. I was living out my priorities by practicing the Principle of Neglect. My girls come before my blog on my list of priorities. So in order to live out my priority of making the most of my last few days with the girls, I had to work the Principle of Neglect and temporarily neglect the blog.

The Principle of Neglect helps us determine which people/responsibilities/issues/jobs/etc. can wait until we take care of the truly important in our lives. We may even find that we can totally neglect some people/responsibilites/issues/etc. because they aren’t on our priority list. They just aren’t ours to do.

Here’s a brief overview of how to work the Principle of Neglect:

Think about the truly important parts of your life.
List them. Now. Don’t stop and think. Just do it.
Think about what you did yesterday and what is on today’s schedule. Jot down a few things you did, include a few that came upat the last minute.
Which of the things on your list stole from the truly important in your life? Could they have been neglected until later? Think hard. Now place them on your schedule where they belong–below the truly important.
Are they even yours to do at all? Do they need to be totally neglected? Go ahead–resign the position. Make up your mind to say “no” the next time you are asked to do something that is not on your priority list. Give up what is keeping you from the truly important. If applicable, assign it to the appropriate person.

Jesus knew and lived His purpose (John 12:44-50). We each have a specific purpose. Jesus had the same amount of hours in His day as we do and He completed everything God planned for Him to do (John 17:4). We, too, can complete our mission. But we must decide our priorties and work the Principle of Neglect if we are going to live the lives God planned for us.

What can you neglect for a time? What should you neglect altogether? If you’re having trouble answering those question, ask God to show you. He promises He will (James 1:5-8).

*For more on the Principle of Neglect check out Princess Unaware: Finding the Fabulous in Every Day.

Comments (1)

August 7, 2009

The Principle of Blinders

Filed under: Uncategorized — Brenda @ 10:51 pm

Kerry and I are very sad. Summer is rapidly ending and the beginning of the school year is only a few days away. Its arms are open wide and a slight smirk is on its face. It knows once it wraps its arms around Kerry that it has her for another year. We have done our best to ignore its approach-not going near the school supplies area in Wal-Mart and Target, not talking about going back-to-school or back-to-school clothes or any phrases that used the words “back-to-school.”

However, Tuesday it was impossible to ignore the imminent. It was registration day at the high school. We put on our happy faces and got in the first of several lines we would stand in to officially register Kerry for her sophomore year. A mom of one of Kerry’s friends was helping with registration.

“I heard you have another book coming out.” Her smile beamed congratulations.

“Yes, I do.” I returned her generous smile.

“I don’t know how you pump them out like that. I like to write, but I never quite get it done.”

“Deadlines are great inspiration.” I tried to let her know I felt her frustration.

Accomplishing the important things in life is difficult. In today’s culture women are fortunate to have unlimited choices of important things-careers, volunteer opportunities, and ministry opportunities. Twenty-first century health care and adoption options help us have families when we might not otherwise been able to. Technology enables us to keep up with our friends even if they move around the world. However, we cannot do it all, so we need to know what are our important things.

I know very little about the mom I spoke with at the high school. She may be exactly where God wants her to make a difference. However, if God has called to her something else and she doesn’t have time for it, she may be too busy with good things or with things she just couldn’t say no to. She might find the *Principle of Blinders helpful. It has been vital in helping me accomplish the important things in my life.

Jesus lived and taught the Principle of Blinders. He lived a focused life doing exactly what His Father gave Him to do (John 12:49). The Principle of Blinders

Helps us stay focused on what God calls us to.
Keeps us from looking at other opportunities or what others are doing. Jesus challenged Peter to keep his blinders on and keep the focus on following Himself (John 21:21-22).
Helps us know what the important things are when they come into our lives because we are focused on God and not a million distractions.

If Jesus lived the Principle of Blinders, why do we think we can do it all and have it all at once?

Has God shown you what the important things are in your life? Have you acknowledged what He has shown you? Does your life exemplify it?

If you haven’t determined what God’s important things are for you, take time with Him and ask Him. He will show you.

The Principle of Blinders is crucial to finding your fabulous life.

*The Principle of Blinders is discussed in Princess Unaware.