Links:

Archives:

Add Live Bookmark:


Delivered by FeedBurner

About Brenda

June 18, 2010

Live as God’s Girl: Confidence to Live Whatever God Calls You To.

Filed under: Confidence,Encouragement,Life as God's Girl,New opportunites,Others' expectations,confident living,next step in life,priorities — Brenda @ 1:16 pm

Do You Discriminate?

The church lobby was packed with parents and their teens checking in for camp. It’s a great time to catch up with folks I normally don’t run into.

Such was the case when I spotted precious Jill. She’s one of those women I wish I had opportunity to talk with more often. She excitedly told me about the new conference she was organizing and asked if I would like to help in any way. My face must have revealed more than my mumble.

“Oh, I know you’re terribly busy,” Jill quickly replied.

“I’m so sorry, Jill. I hate that I give that impression. I certainly don’t want to,” I pleaded.

“No, it’s not that. You are life-busy as we all are. One thing I really appreciate about you is that you are discriminating with your time.”

I embraced her. “Thank you so much for understanding me!” What a gift to be understood and not judged.

Jill went on, “I appreciate that fact that you chose wisely what you are going to invest your time in.”

She earned another hug. “Thank you so much.”

When I got home I emailed to follow up regarding how she wanted me to help on the conference. Then I prayerfully considered the opportunity and checked my calendar.

When we are living out our priorities we may appear busy to others. But in today’s culture almost everyone is busy. I think what others see in us is purposefulness and intentionality. It gives them pause before they include us. That’s ok. It means we are living what we say we value.

But we also want to be a part of the community around us, so we will need to reach out to others. Invite friends to lunch or over for dinner. Volunteer in way that in line with your priorities and doesn’t take a lot of time. Make having fun a priority as well.

I talked with Jill and yes, there is a way for me to help that works with my schedule and my priorities!

How have you learned to discriminate with your time?

June 1, 2010

I Did Not Sign Up For This

Filed under: Disappointment,Encouragement,Failure,Hard Times,Index cards,Interruptions,Overwhelmed women,celebrate life,discouragement,priorities — Brenda @ 4:13 pm

I started the morning doing something not on my index card list—cleaning up the dog’s mess. I’ll let your imagination or perhaps your personal experiences fill in the details for you. While doing this with the best of attitudes, I declared loudly for anyone (really everyone) who was in earshot, “There must be a special reward in heaven for moms who clean up pet messes (again fill in your own details).” Seriously, I did not sign up for this.
As I was scrubbing brown from Kerry’s light blue carpet the thought occurred to me, Moms days are filled with things not on their index card. It’s their job description. Of course, the same can be said for every woman. For the most part, we are the core of our families and the nurturers (even at work). We make it happen for those who rely on us.
So how do we marry the urgent, which many times is important, with the list on our index cards?
• Know Your Priorities. I know I have said this a million times, but it is core to fulfilling the life God has for you. How else did Jesus know to stop for the woman who had been bleeding for twelve years, yet not stop for others who were also in great need? (Luke 8:43-48) Jesus knew and lived His priorities.
• Sensitivity to the Holy Spirit. I know this can sound a little vague, but when we lay down our agendas, fears, prejudices, all the things we have told God we will never do, and sinful habits we can more clearly hear the guiding of the Holy Spirit. Then we too can know who we are to take time for and who is not ours to take time for.
• Reign in Your Time Killers. Who or what kills your time? TV, facebook, texting, phone calls, a needy co-worker who never gets enough of you? We give these time killers precious time from our day that could be used for something God has for us, even if it’s ten minutes of peace and quiet before the next urgency presents itself (I was eating a stack of delicious pancakes when Kerry discovered the dog’s mess in my room.) We are big girls now. No more excuses. Reign in your time killers. Give them the appropriate amount of time (some may need to go altogether) and then get on to the next thing.
Kerry’s carpet is clean and drying now. The blog is done and I’m off to the next thing on my index card. My day most likely won’t look like I planned, but it will be what God planned.
How do you handle that for which you did not sign up for in your life?

May 24, 2010

The Gatekeeper of Our Dreams

Filed under: Christian living,Confidence,Disappointment,Encouragement,Failure,Fighting Fear,Hard Times,New opportunites,Rejection,Writing/authors,adventure,discouragement,next step in life — Brenda @ 4:52 pm

“And don’t think we are the gatekeepers of your dream.”
“Well, they are,” I whispered to my friend sitting next to me, holding back the urge to jump up and yell Blasphemy!
My friend and I were at a writers’ conference sitting in on a panel of book editors. The editors were discussing the type of material they were looking for and what they wanted writers to know about their publishing houses.
Our strong reaction to his disclaimer (my friend had nodded in agreement) was brought on by our wrong belief that if the editors would just look at our material they would realize how amazing it was and publish our books and our dreams would come true. But after his comment, we felt rejected before he even looked at our work. Rejection is something a writer must deal with if she is going to be a professional writer.
Actors the same way. Yesterday one of my daughters learned she did not get the part she had hoped for. She worked hard to prepare. She has proven herself by doing the small roles with excellence. Surely, this was her year. The role went to someone less experienced. The rejection hurt and disillusioned her.
Rejection is a part of life. Everyone experiences it. Who hasn’t felt the pierce of rejection
• by a breakup/divorce?
• from children?
• from parents?
• from job loss?
• of not getting the job?
• from friends who don’t stay true?
What do we do when the one we think is the gatekeeper of our dreams locks us out? Our answer determines the kind of person we become and the direction of our life. Here are a few truths to help you with your answer:
1. Don’t take every rejection personally. Unless you have been grossly rude, irresponsible, immoral, or illegal, very often it’s more about them than you. The other person is just that—another person. They have limited knowledge and judgment. They have their own issues. It’s impossible to know why you were overlooked when you seemed to be the perfect one for the job, role, friendship, opportunity, etc.
I tried to give my daughter perspective—This is the opinion of one high school teacher. I’m not disrespecting the teacher or her position, but I wanted my daughter to gain perspective. There will be other roles and other directors.
Own whatever part you may have played in the rejection—real not perceived. Then know that not even Jesus pleased everyone all the time. How can we expect to?
2. Let this rejection grow you. Reflect and decide what you can do better next time. My first book, Queen Mom, was rejected several times before it was published. Each time the editors who rejected it gave me helpful advice to make it better. I listened and used their advice. Three years later it was published.
3. Consider redirection. Maybe this rejection is about you—not personally, but maybe God is trying to get your attention to try something else. My first attempt at writing was a novel. One of my friends has one of those can’t-believe-this-really-happened life stories. I thought God was directing me to turn her story into a based-on-real-life novel. I interviewed her once a week for several months. I wrote my proposal and went to a writers’ conference. A gracious editor from a well-known Christian fiction publisher looked over my work and asked me, “Where do you see the story going?” It was the next logical question, but I was speechless. At that moment God made it very clear that I am not a fiction writer. I went home and started working on Queen Mom.
4. Bottom Line—We are always in God’s hands and whatever comes to us is only through His permission (i.e. Job—as in “The Book of”). Through all my rejections (and there have been many) I rest in the fact that if God wanted me there I would be there and no one could prevent it. This doesn’t take away from my responsibility to work hard, prepare, learn, grow, and be a person of excellence and integrity. But, as we discussed last week, the results are always God’s.

Are you feeling the sting of rejection or maybe rejection knocked the wind out of you this time? Lick your wounds. Then decide, What is the truth in this situation? Now move forward accordingly. Sometimes we can’t make sense of the nonsense, so don’t hesitate to talk with someone wiser.
I would love to hear what you are doing with rejection.

May 17, 2010

A Life-Changing Sermon

Filed under: Christian living,Confidence,Encouragement,Hard Times,Life as God's Girl,Others' expectations,Trusting God,Waiting on God,Walking with God,Writing/authors,confident living,discouragement,parenting,persistence — Brenda @ 5:05 pm

For the past few months, really the past year, I have been seeking, striving, and desperate for God to answer for me one thing. Why, after much work, prayer, and opportunities, do I not have more to show for it all? What in the world am I doing wrong? If I do all I am supposed to do, won’t the result be as I expect when I expect it?
For those of you who faithfully read my blog you have heard me pose this question in various forms over the months. Sunday I received my answer directly from God.
Our pastor at Imago Dei Church was off this week and Pastor Eric Potter filled in for him. Eric’s words from God spoke directly to this question for which I am always seeking an answer. Eric taught on the parable of Jesus in Matthew 20—the workers in the vineyard. His whole sermon was powerful and I urge you to listen to it at www.imagodeichurch.org. But the part that spoke to me was near the end.
Eric made the point that the workers in this parable were day workers. They were the lowest class because they were not employed or even slaves with a master to care for and protect them. These men were grateful for any work they could get. These men thought it a privilege to work in the vineyard. They were grateful for the invitation to work in the vineyard. Interpreting the vineyard to be the kingdom of God and the owner of the vineyard to be God, I am the day worker. Wow. It hit me that I am not always especially thankful for the work God has given me to do for the kingdom. Ugh. A straight hit to my heart.
Then Eric gave us several questions to answer. One question—“What is my attitude about working in the vineyard?” further convicted me that my attitude has not always be one of gratitude. Oh, God, please forgive me. You have blessed me with work for the kingdom that I love. How can I be anything other than grateful?
His next question—“Am I working for reward or in response to the invitation?”–was the answer I had been searching for. I had been working for the reward. But the invitation was a privilege and that should have been my only motivation. This morning in my time with God, He took me to John 15 to further clarify His point. In John 15 Jesus is teaching on abiding in Him and when we do we bear fruit. But never does Jesus tell us to bear fruit or to concern ourselves with bearing fruit. He tells us to abide in Him. That’s our job. His job is to work through us to produce fruit. (John 15:4-5) As I abide in Christ—know Him better, trust Him, obey Him—I will bear fruit. It’s the result of my live lived in Christ.
Wow. I am so relieved! I’ve done all I know to do. Now I rest in God for Him to use my work as He sees fit. I started today with fresh perspective and renewed energy and excitement to do what God put in me to do and no worries over the results!
Thank you, Pastor Eric. Thank You, God, for patiently teaching this difficult child of yours and using her along the way.
I would love to hear where you have struggled to see results in your life—parenting, on the job, in your ministry. How does this truth change the way you will view your efforts for God?

May 12, 2010

A P.S. to Mothers’ Day

Filed under: Christian living,Confidence,Encouragement,Failure,Fear in parenting,Kids,Trusting God,confident living,moms,parenting,persistence,strong-willed kids — Brenda @ 1:43 pm

What keeps you from being the confident Queen Mom? What keeps you from being confident enough to teach and train your kids to respect you? I believe there are many answers—laziness, lack of know-how on your part (see Queen Mom!), or peer pressure (you don’t see any other moms doing this). But I think the most common reason is fear. We are fearful of so many things in our parenting. We fear:
• We will make an irreversible mistake with our kids.
• Because we don’t have a clue how to handle the current phase our kid is going through, and we didn’t have a good role model.
• Our child will say, “Make me!” and we won’t know what to do next.
• Because no other parent seems to parent the way we do, so we doubt our parenting philosophy.
Let’s consider a few truths to drive out our parenting fears.
1. Fear stops us from walking in faith. Hebrews 11:6, “And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to Him must believe that He exists and that He rewards those who earnestly seek Him.” The NASB says, “that He is.” In order to have a relationship with God we must first believe all He says about Himself is true. Fear convinces us that some of what God says about Himself is not true.
The enemy introduced this doubt into the very first mom, Eve. Genesis 3:1, “Did God really say. . .?”
• He will give you wisdom and discernment to parent this kid?
• He will give you strength and perseverance when you want to run away?
• Did God really say He cares more about your kids than you do?

2. Fight Fear with the Word of God. Eve had a good start against the serpent. When tempted, she quoted God’s Words to the serpent. He was shot down! (even for a moment) God’s Word in our minds is our best weapon against Satan’s attacks of fear.
One way to get it in our minds is to write the verses that speak right to us on index cards and review them throughout the day. Our minds are filled with so much garbage in a day. What a positive difference truth will make.
3. Don’t consider the lies and fears from the enemy. Consider only the Word of God. Don’t give the enemy a chance to get you down or fearful. He does not deserve your attention. You are God’s girl and the Queen Mom! Read Genesis 3:4-5. Notice that after Eve speaks God’s Word the enemy must try even harder to deceive. He causes Eve to pause and consider his lies. She then becomes fearful God is holding out on her and she sins. When we consider the lies of the enemy we become fearful and we back away from our role of Queen Mom.
4. You are the Queen Mom and God has a good plan for your family.
James MacDonald said, “Emotions make a great caboose, but not a great engine.” We must parent by God’s truth and not our emotions. Where our child is today emotionally and spiritually is not where she will stay. Today is not the last chapter. Through Eli’s story (1 Samuel 2:11-36) we saw the tragic results of a lifetime of weak parenting. God is on our side. His desire is for us to be strong, loving parents. Today is Day One to be the confident Queen Mom.*

I would love for you to share your fears in parenting. When we share them we see how powerless they are and when others read about your experience we are united in sisterhood in Christ and we are energized.

Answers to questions in #1:
• Proverbs 2:3-6; James 1:5-8.
• Isaiah 40:10-11; Joshua 1:5; Deuteronomy 31:8; “Complete weakness and dependence will always be the occasion for the Spirit of God to manifest His power.” Oswald Chambers
• The Cross and Blood of Christ.

*Go to the Resource Page and download the “Disrespect is Not an Option” resource to get you on your way to being the confident Queen Mom.

May 4, 2010

Bible Study Tuesday–Really the Last One

Filed under: Bible Study,Christian living,Comparison,Confidence,Encouragement,Life as God's Girl,Princess Unaware,Relationship with God,Walking with God,celebrate life,confident living,next step in life,persistence,priorities — Brenda @ 11:55 pm

This week was my answers to your questions. In the notes below I answer two questions. However, a third question came in at the last minute and I discussed it without notes. Let me know if you would like the information we discussed on difficult relationships and I will work it up for next week.

The Journey

Both of the questions I received this week can be answered in a discussion on “The Journey.” That’s what you are about to begin. You have finished Princess Unaware and hopefully you have lots to think about and put into practice in your years to come—in your journey. So I want to discuss a few things to encourage you and help you persevere on your journey.
First, I’m not sure if we discussed what I mean by “your calling.” Your calling is the fabulous life God planned for you. It is the family you have, your spiritual gifts, your talents, maybe a career, your ministry—anything God brings to into your life for you to do. He also gives us a passion. Is there something or a group of someone’s that you want to help? A cause or ministry that you are dying to contribute to? The answer to those questions is your passion.
One question I received asked if our callings could change. Depending on how you define calling I would say yes. God can do whatever He likes in our lives. I do believe our gifts are pretty much ours for life. I have been very much who I am today all my life. It has taken many years for me to acknowledge and embrace that though. My passion is for women to know God’s truth and for them to live fabulous lives as a result of living in that truth. Sometimes I am passionate about moms of little ones, or moms of teens, or women in general.
Now we can discuss our journey. The details will look different for everyone, but it will be much the same for everyone.
I began my journey when I married Gene. I didn’t know it then, but the man he is and the life we have lived together has perfectly prepared and launched me in the journey God planned for me. As I shared before, many years ago, before Kerry was born God put in me a desire to speak God’s truth to women. It started small and I didn’t know what I was feeling at first. Over the months it grew and because it seemed to impossible and not at all “my style” I ignored it like a package delivered to the wrong address but with no return address. What do I do with it? It’s here and it’s not going anywhere.
The desire grew and finally I had the nerve to share it with Gene. After more months of frustration because I had this thing in me and I didn’t know what to do with it or how to quiet it, Gene urged me to do the only thing we knew to do—I had a friend whose sister-in-law was a writer. So I talked with her then with the sister-in-law. Nothing happened from those conversations, but that was then God started moving events along.
God: Solution
Let’s look briefly at another hero of mine—Caleb. Joshua 14. Caleb has a great story about his journey. Back Story in Numbers 14. Start reading Joshua 14:6.
Verse 7—Caleb was 40 when he was given his big mission. 40. Caleb spent those 40 years becoming the man we see in Numbers 14. You girls are so young. You are in the years of laying your foundation and of taking your roots deep in the Lord. Do it well. You are going to need all the strength and wisdom of the Lord to raise your families.
Verse 8—Read it. Which of these will we be—will we cause others’ faith to fail or will we “follow the LORD my God wholeheartedly.” The NASB reads, “I followed the LORD my God fully.”
Verse 9 goes on to quote Moses commending Caleb and promising him the land he spied out because “you have followed the LORD my God fully.”
Verse 10—Caleb “followed the LORD fully” for 45 more years. That’s a lifetime of dedication and focus on living for God.
Verse11—I believe because of this Caleb states, “I am still as strong today as I was in the day Moses sent me; as my strength was then, so my strength is now, for war and for going out and coming in.”
Verse 12—He asks for the hill country with the giants and fortified cities. He believes God for big things as God promised.
Verse 14—Hebron became Caleb’s, but he had to fight for it. And he did because “he followed the LORD fully.”
You: Application
What can we learn about our journey from Caleb and his amazing journey?
• Follow God fully all our days.
• This is a lifelong assignment. Discuss the hazards of today’s society to make an idol out of everyone making it seem they are the norm.
• Keep your blinders on. Don’t compare. Everyone’s assignment is different.
• God is not in a hurry. Caleb was 85 years old before he took his promised territory! Why are we in such a hurry? We have all the life God has given us and He doesn’t intend on wasting a minute of it.
• Stay strong physically, emotionally, spiritually, and mentally. And get your house in order—literally. The organizing you do today will make your ability to move when God says move possible and immediate because you won’t be looking for the car keys, unpacking the suitcases from last summer’s vacation, or trying to pay the overdue bills.
• Believe and live the truth—As long as you are alive, God has a plan and mission for you. Nowhere in the Bible does God promise retirement.

Congratulations, you are the strong confident princesses. Live it well!

April 27, 2010

Bible Study Tuesday–Princess Unaware–A Few One More Things

Filed under: Bible Study,Christian living,Confidence,Encouragement,Hard Times,Life as God's Girl,Others' expectations,Princess Unaware,Relationship with God,Risks,The Unknown,Trusting God,Waiting on God,Walking with God,adventure,celebrate life,confident living,moms,next step in life,parenting — Brenda @ 7:06 pm

This is the last of the notes for Princess Unaware. Next week I will have questions and answers from the Bible study group.

I am famous for my “one more things.” After a conversation I have been known to call back with “one more thing.” With the gals I have mentored I have been known to email “one more thing.” My mind isn’t as quick as I would like and often after I’ve had a chance to think things through I come up with “one more thing” I would like to add.
So today as we finish this study I want to give you “a few one more things” that I want you to take and never forget and live out—things that we discussed that are important and things that we didn’t get a chance to talk enough about.

Here we go:
~God is crazy about you. Never ever forget and constantly remind yourself that God loves you. He wants a relationship with you—stuff and all. Visual aid with wagon full of stuff.
~Live a life worthy of the Lord. Colossians 1:10. Sure we all have stuff, but let’s give it to God and not wallow in it. No more making excuses for the way we are. What not to be—2 Timothy 3:6-7. Take what we have learned and live like God’s princesses.
~Throw off the fear. We’ve talked about this often this study. Fear makes us ineffective and it’s not God’s plan for us. 2 Timothy 1:7. A fearful attitude is not from God. This leads to the next one. . .
~Live with confidence—in your relationships; your marriage, your parenting, your ministry. We can because the last half of 2 Timothy 1:7 says, but a spirit “of power and love and discipline.”
• Power–We have the Holy Spirit in us and thru us. Our obedience with the Holy Spirit’s power accomplishes great things in our lives. Keep your accounts short with God and others. Then yield to what God wants, what He shows us next to do no matter how small. His Spirit then works through us to accomplish His plan and what we couldn’t do otherwise.
• Love –what is best for the other person. Let this definition guide you in your relationships.
• Discipline—woman up. Our lives are too important to waste on things that don’t matter. Take care of yourselves, your homes, your families, grow your relationship with the Lord, step out in faith to the next exciting thing He has for you.
~Get a mentor. I cannot tell you the depth my life has been changed by my mentor. Also, I cannot tell you how I have been blessed by the women I have mentored. Prayerfully consider who God would have you to ask. Your life will never be the same. When choosing my mentor I looked to a woman who was where I wanted to be when I was her age. Also consider being a mentor.
~When you don’t know what to do next, find out. Ask God or your mentor or someone who knows. James 1:5.
~Keep your mouths shut. Don’t say anything about anyone that you don’t want them to know you said. It will get back to them. James 3:3-12. I have sinned in this area and been caught and called on in it. People were hurt. It’s easy to avoid. Just don’t say anything about anybody. You will be surprised at the new depths your conversations go and at the freedom of not worrying if anything will be repeated.
~Quit caring about others’ opinions of you and your family. Matthew 15:1-14. Read v. 12-13. If you live the fabulous life God has for you, you will become a target for others to offer their opinions of how you are doing life all wrong. Go back through each of these points and live them. That is where your fabulous life is—not trying to keep others happy.
~Life is hard. God is faithful. Judges 6:1-16. Read 1-10. The Israelites were suffering because of their own disobedience.
Read v. 11-13. You may now be living the consequences of others’ sins and wondering why God abandoned you.
Read v. 14. “Go in the strength you have.” Do what you can do and then a little more (we all have a little more when pressed). Go back to the above instructions—get godly counsel. Don’t hide out in the winepress. Get in the game.
~”Am I not sending you?” Have you heard these words from God. Staying in the winepress, hiding from life is not an option. Yes, life is hard, but I have never done passed what I thought I could ever do and known God more than when I was facing an impossible-beyond-me situation and He said to me, “Am I not sending you?”
Read v. 15. I, too, responded as Gideon in v. 15, “But Lord, how can I? You know my background, my insecurities. I am not the best one for the job.”
Read v. 16. God has always been faithful to equip me, help me, put words in my mouth and strength in my legs as I stand and say what He wanted me to say.
Why do we look at others and think they have it all together so God is using them powerfully? Instead why don’t we look at others doing what God called them to and praise God for working mightily in them and through them? He will do the same for us.
You, precious warrior Princesses of the Lord’s, have so much of your fabulous life ahead of you. Wear your crown well.

I would love your comments or questions from this study. I will answer them next week.

April 20, 2010

Bible Study Tuesday–The Gift God Wants to Give and We Seldom Take

Filed under: Christian living,Confidence,Disappointment,Encouragement,Fighting Fear,Hard Times,Joy,Life as God's Girl,Relationship with God,The Unknown,Trusting God,Waiting on God,Walking with God,celebrate life,confident living,discouragement,facebook,life changes — Brenda @ 6:02 pm

Today’s Bible study started with a skit that Libby Snyder wrote. For the sake of space I did not include it. If you would like to read it, email me (contact page) and I will email it to you. What follows is the teaching portion of today’s study.

So what do you think the sucker represents?
That’s right. Joy. The sucker represents joy. In the midst of our messy lives God wants to give us joy.
The thought occurred to me the other day—in the midst of my messy life God put a tiny piece of joy—I think to see if I would nibble and then He would give me more. But I hesitated. Just like Libby I thought I can’t take this. Not now. I’m not ready for it. I have more to do before I can experience joy.

Have you ever been there? God puts a spark of joy in your heart and encourages you to let it burst into your whole heart, but you tell God, “Not now. Too much going on. I’ll get back to you when it’s the right time for joy.”

God has much to say about joy and as I learned studying for this lesson. The best place to camp for our study of joy is 2 Corinthians 6:1-10. This is a chunk of heavy-duty Scripture to chew on. Read verses 1-10. Go back to v. 1—Receive the grace of God—make it count. Grace here is from the same root as joy in v. 10 which we will get to in a minute. Here it means “divine influence upon the heart and its reflection in life, including gratitude.” So when Paul says, “not to receive the grace of God in vain” he means to let God work in you and change you and live it out, being grateful for everything God has done for you.
V. 2—Paul emphasizes this truth. He says, “Behold, now is ‘the acceptable time,’ behold, now is ‘the day of salvation.’ “ He is telling the reader—this is it. On earth it won’t get any better. We’re not going to get a better offer from God. Now He is offering us His grace—His involvement in our lives. We just need to get in a posture to hear and cooperate.
V.3—Paul tells us how to live out our faith—“giving no cause for offense in anything.” Keep out of trouble and stay away from anything that might discredit the ministry.
V. 4—Then he begins a lengthy list of situations/issues/conditions we may find ourselves in and tells us to present ourselves as servants of God in each one. Read thru them one by one.
V. 10—“as sorrowful yet always rejoicing.” This is the joy God was trying to get Libby to take hold of. The definition for joy in this verse means cheerfulness, calm delight, great gladness. As I said, it is from the same root as grace in verse 1 which means calmly happy or well-off. Paul is telling us as we present ourselves as servants of God we are going to go through some hard stuff, but in it all we are to have calm delight and be calmly happy.

Other definitions for joy throughout the Bible mean to be glad, clamor in acclamation of joy, shout for joy. These are used to describe times of celebration. When we are sorrowful, going through a hard thing, it is not appropriate to shout for joy. But it is appropriate to have calm delight.
But how?
• By knowing God has you covered. Deuteronomy 31:8. God got where we’re going ahead of us. He will be with us when we get there. He will not fail us. He will not forsake us—slow down the car tell us to get out while He picks up another sister, leaving us alongside the road till He comes back our way. That’s not the way God rolls. Because of all this He tells us to not fear or WHAT? What does it say—be dismayed—which is what we learned last week is the same as discouragement and we know what that leads to—disobedience! And we don’t want to go there so let’s back it up and we won’t fear what is causing our sorrowfulness because God has us covered—Deut. 31:8!
• Then we can start to flail closer to God. Get ourselves in a posture that says, “God, this stinks. I hate it. I don’t know what You’re doing here, but I want to be on track with You.”

As a family we end every day in Gene and my bedroom for prayer time (it is short and to the point). It gives us a few last moments to be together for the day. (I know for moms of little ones you have had enough moments in your day! When your kids get bigger you will grasp for each one.) We sit in our room and talk and be silly and Gene and Riley play. This is Riley’s favorite part of the day. When we head back to the bedroom she runs ahead of everyone and sits by the chair that Gene sits in, waiting for him to sit down and play with her. (Show picture of Riley at Gene’s feet.) See her smiling face? See her look of calm delight? Of calm happiness? You bet you do because no matter what happened that day she is now at the feet of her master and all is well.

Can we do that? Can we be as simple as my dog and sit with calm delight at the feet of our Lord?
There we will hear from Him and He may be saying we’re in for a wait, so we will need to get comfortable and in fellowship with Him through this time.
There we will hear from Him what to do next. But we can’t hear if we are at our own pity party. We can only hear Him if we are in a posture to hear.
So flail your sad little self to the feet of God. Sit. Reach out and take the sucker. Take the joy. Enjoy. It may be a long while till the time for shouts of joy come, but “Behold, now is the acceptable time” for joy!

Today in small groups we shared times of accepting God’s joy in the midst of a hard time and the challenge of doing so. Please feel free to share with me and the other readers your experience of taking God’s joy in the midst of a hard time or your struggle to do so.

As my youngest daughter would say–Sadness! Next week is our last week in Princess Unaware. I will continue to blog, but next week is the last lesson from Princess. See you next week.

One more thing–recently I took up residence on facebook. If that’s your thing check out my Brenda Garrison fan page and leave a note. I would love to see your pic on my page.

April 14, 2010

Bible Study Tuesday: Discouragement–Not So Innocent

Filed under: Bible Study,Confidence,Encouragement,Failure,Fighting Fear,Overwhelmed women,Princess Unaware,Trusting God,Writing/authors,confident living,discouragement,parenting — Brenda @ 1:55 am

If I had to identify the most effective weapon the enemy uses to get me off track from my fabulous life—in any area—my marriage, parenting, relationships, ministry, taking care of my health—it is discouragement. I like to see the results of my efforts, so discouragement is a sure-fire way to get me out of the game.
• In my relationships with my girls I give and give. I make the best decisions I can and do the best for them that I can. Then when they behave thoughtlessly or only seem to want more, I become a discouraged mom. Why am I a mom anyway?
• Or I exercise and eat right, resisting high-fat, high-salt foods, in hopes of losing a few pounds in my tummy then I get on the scale to see no weight loss. Why do I try?
• I work hard at the ministry God has given me—many hours spent at the computer writing and preparing for an event. I do the best with the time I have, but I don’t see the results I would like. Why does God have me in this ministry?
• But more often discouragement comes to me in whispers from the enemy:
~You won’t get done on time.
~This won’t be good. (in relation to my messages)
~You won’t be good enough. (in relation to my presentation)
~They already know this. You’re the loser who just figured this out.
But mostly the enemy haunts me with You won’t be good enough.
When I start believing only what I can see I get discouraged and feel hopeless. I want to just sit somewhere with my head down and feel sorry for myself. I am so deserving of a little pity, aren’t I?

Do you ever get discouraged? Can you relate to any areas I shared? For you young moms, you are really ripe for discouragement attacks. Most of what you do every day, all day, needs to be redone immediately or goes unnoticed (unless of course you don’t do it!). And society talks a big talk, but it does not reward or hold in high esteem what we do. When I get discouraged in my mothering and homemaking (which is what we do!) and my husband is clueless to how I feel even though he tries to understand, I always tell him he can’t understand. He may not be as appreciated at work as he should be, but every week he gets a paycheck that puts value on what he does. Moms don’t get paychecks or much appreciation. So when we’ve had “one of those days” we can be easily discouraged.

Discouragement leads to disobedience.
God has much to say about discouragement. The Bible is full of references to and stories about folks who were discouraged in doing God’s work and will. This morning I want to look at a hero of mine—Joshua. Joshua is taking on a huge job with a nation of more than a million people from a hugely successful leader. This guy has got to be shaking in his sandals at the handoff.
Let’s take a look at Joshua 1:1-9. What a pep talk! Don’t you wish God would show up in your kitchen every morning as you are getting your first cup of coffee with a pep talk like this?
“Now therefore arise, cross this Jordan. . .to the land which I am giving you. . .”
Actually He does. If you only need to open your Bible to this section and read it while you sip your coffee quietly so no little one hears you and gets up too.
Another reason Joshua needed to be reassured of his calling and God’s power in it, is that he had seen first-hand how difficult Israel could be. Back in Numbers 13 Moses sends Joshua, Caleb and ten other men to check out the Promised Land and see how to best take it. Let’s take a look at their report. Numbers 13:27-33. This report leads to huge discouragement. They were discouraged because they saw only the challenges and factored God out. Num. 14:1-4. And look at what their discouragement leads to. Read v.5-10. Their discouragement leads to disobedience.
When we fall for what seems pathetic but innocent discouragement, we are being deceived by the enemy. Because what comes next is always disobedience. One disobedience that is common to all our discouragements is pride—my thoughts and focus turn to me—it’s all about me!
Look back at my list of discouragements and see other ways discouragement leads to disobedience.
• My discouragement as a mom leads to disobedience because I get angry at the girls and/or I sulk/withdraw.
• My discouragement with taking care of my body leads to the disobedience of a binge of chocolate cake (with fudgy icing) and giving into excuses why I don’t have time to exercise.
• My discouragement in ministry leads to the disobedience of disbelief—me doubting God, me believing that God dumped me off on the side of the road so He could pick up someone else, someone who will be a great speaker and writer, someone He can really use.
• My discouragement from listening to Satan’s lies leads to disobedience in that my work is slowed down. I don’t have the confidence and conviction that God will and is speaking to me and preparing me for His use.
Discouragement leads to disobedience.
You: Application
What disobedience does your discouragement lead to? What is the enemy’s main method of discouraging you? What disobedience does that lead to? You can interact with God over this in our 3 minutes of prayer.
But how will you and I overcome this discouragement so we can move on to obedience?
Let’s take one more look at our hero, Joshua—14:7-9. In Joshua’s words we see how he overcame discouragement to move on to obedience (in Joshua 1).
• He identified the good God had for them. What blessings does God have for you now and as you persevere in obedience? Fulfilling relationships; a home that is fun, welcoming, and says, “Stay awhile”; Good health, no matter what the scale says. V. 7
• He acknowledged God in the midst of their efforts. Discouragement takes God out of our situation. V. 8
• He knew Who was to be feared and not to fear the job God gave them. Discouragement causes us to fear what God has called us to. “I am not a good enough mom”; I will never get this house in order; I can’t keep up with work and home. V. 9
• He knew God had their back, front, sides—God had them covered. He has every situation and person in your life covered, too. V. 9
• Because of that we are not to fear, but trust God. V. 9
Which of these truths do you need to apply to your life?
Don’t let discouragement keep you from the fabulous life God has for you.

We can do this, girls. When you start to feel discouragement creeping in immediately identify it and know it is not from God. It is never God talking to you. Then grab it, swing it up and over your head, and give it a fling. Take whatever is troubling you to the Lord and soak in your relationship with Him and then get back to work!

April 11, 2010

The Amazing Index Card

Filed under: Confidence,Encouragement,Failure,Index cards,Not perfect,Organization,Overwhelmed women,confident living,discouragement,priorities — Brenda @ 2:12 am

You know I’m all about confidently living your calling. And while much of confidently living our callings depends on believing God’s truth, some of it boils down to just getting our acts together. How many times have you gotten your act together but then couldn’t remember where you put it. Old joke, I know, but so true.
My organizational anxiety lies not only in not finding my act, but in the always present nagging in my mind that I’ve forgotten something—not a small-no-one-will-notice something, but a big-everything-depends-on-this-detail something.
A couple of weeks ago God gave me a recollection and revelation on how to get my brain together and alleviate its nagging. I remembered a few years ago a friend took me to the airport. I noticed on her dashboard an index card with a list of everything she needed to do that day. I remember thinking That’s cool. Now I know how she remembers everything she does. Then my thoughts turned to wondering if I would be able to figure out the new kiosk at the airport to get my ticket.
Back to the present and why this all matters–One area of my kitchen counter space is a mess.( Once my precious mother-in-law said to me, “Why don’t you clean up that mess?” You must know she was a dear woman and never interfered, and even then she wasn’t interfering, just wondering. ) It is full of papers, a jar of markers, stapler, tape, etc. Paper control is not my thing. Also I have this fear (and it is based on past experiences) that if I put something away I won’t be able to find it or I will forget about it all together. So my mind feels more in control if I can see everything—yep, the whole mess.
The day of my recollection and revelation I was standing at the messy counter wondering how I would deal with it all. I’m not sure how God started the conversation, but I remember He said to me—List everything you need to do tomorrow on an index card.
I thought What a great idea! The Amazing Index Card Principle!
• I use one index card for every day.
• Write the day at the top.
• One the left side list what needs to be done today. If there are more tasks than lines you have too much going on and you need to prioritize and purge.
• On the right side list items that need to be soon but not today. I also like to list projects I need to think about before I start them or errands to be ran when I get out.
• As you finish a task check it off. The best part!
• At the end of the day transfer the items that did not get done to the next day’s card or move an item from the right to the left.
A couple of precautions:
• Don’t let this amazing index card become a tyrant master. The index card is to help you not enslave you.
• The index card never trumps relationships. This week was Kerry’s spring break so we painted her room. The second day of painting we worked so long that I didn’t get to most of the items on the card. No big deal—they transferred to the next.
Since I have been using my precious, amazing index cards (never one for Sunday—day off!), I have experienced much less stress. I cleaned off the messy counter space and I don’t worry about where the papers and details have gone. It’s all on my index card. I am making progress on projects that used to haunt me. One more benefit—when all the items are crossed off the card, I’m done for the day! Adding more items is not allowed. My oldest daughter is an artist and a procrastinator. She has been using her index cards and feels so accomplished.
I hope this idea helps. I would love to hear if it does and I would love for you to share any simple organizational tips that work for you.

Older Posts »