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August 12, 2010

What I Did This Summer

Filed under: Fun,New opportunites,Others' expectations,Walking with God,Writing/authors,adult children moving home,celebrate life,confident living,life changes,moms,parenting,priorities,saying no,young adult children — Brenda @ 12:08 am

Several weeks ago I posted a comment on facebook stating that something in my life had to go. I was splintered and frustrated and felt like I wasn’t doing anything well. This blog is my answer to that and, maybe if you feel that way, a next step for you.
A little backstory—My summer has been crazy. (Let’s do bullet points to save time.)
• Two young adult daughters—One moved back home for before heading off to college. The contents of her house are now in our house. The relationship can be challenging. The other daughter will also leave for college in about ten days. She, too, can be challenging.
• Sixteen year-old daughter—She’s not challenging, but I have tried to be available to spend time with her as much as possible this year. We have been training for her tennis tryouts this week. Translated—I have been playing tennis like a mad woman—something I haven’t done in about 30 years.
• Being there—I have tried to be available to all the girls this summer which meant helping them, hanging out with them, and sometimes just waiting for them. I didn’t want to miss one minute of our summer.
• Having friends over—We have hosted friends (ours and theirs) several times this summer.
• Ministry events—These required prep and travel time.
• Writing—I’m trying to start another book with a deadline running headlong at me.
I’m sure your summer has been just as full and crazy. Summer is a time to enjoy so many fun opportunities and catch up on relationships and all this needs to fit into an already full calendar.
As you may have noticed, I have not blogged for a while. It has been a monkey on my back. I love writing to you, but honestly it did not make my top five priorities and thus did not make the cut for how I spent my summer. Marketing experts insist authors need to meet the needs of their readers. But really, this summer was not about my readers—at least not on my blog. As I said I have been speaking and working on my next book. That was for my readers. Not blogging totally went against common wisdom, but it had to go so I tend to the important stuff this summer.
So what is in your crazy life now that the popular culture is telling you must stay, but you know it has to go—at least for now. I always challenge women to figure out their priorities then compare their schedule to their priorities. I challenge you to do the same. Does your schedule testify to what you say are your priorities? If not, get with the Lord and see what needs to go.
All too soon the girls will be away and at school. Friends will be back home. The house will be silent and I will have all day to write. The crazy summer will be over, but I wouldn’t have missed it for the world.

June 18, 2010

Live as God’s Girl: Confidence to Live Whatever God Calls You To.

Filed under: Confidence,Encouragement,Life as God's Girl,New opportunites,Others' expectations,confident living,next step in life,priorities — Brenda @ 1:16 pm

Do You Discriminate?

The church lobby was packed with parents and their teens checking in for camp. It’s a great time to catch up with folks I normally don’t run into.

Such was the case when I spotted precious Jill. She’s one of those women I wish I had opportunity to talk with more often. She excitedly told me about the new conference she was organizing and asked if I would like to help in any way. My face must have revealed more than my mumble.

“Oh, I know you’re terribly busy,” Jill quickly replied.

“I’m so sorry, Jill. I hate that I give that impression. I certainly don’t want to,” I pleaded.

“No, it’s not that. You are life-busy as we all are. One thing I really appreciate about you is that you are discriminating with your time.”

I embraced her. “Thank you so much for understanding me!” What a gift to be understood and not judged.

Jill went on, “I appreciate that fact that you chose wisely what you are going to invest your time in.”

She earned another hug. “Thank you so much.”

When I got home I emailed to follow up regarding how she wanted me to help on the conference. Then I prayerfully considered the opportunity and checked my calendar.

When we are living out our priorities we may appear busy to others. But in today’s culture almost everyone is busy. I think what others see in us is purposefulness and intentionality. It gives them pause before they include us. That’s ok. It means we are living what we say we value.

But we also want to be a part of the community around us, so we will need to reach out to others. Invite friends to lunch or over for dinner. Volunteer in way that in line with your priorities and doesn’t take a lot of time. Make having fun a priority as well.

I talked with Jill and yes, there is a way for me to help that works with my schedule and my priorities!

How have you learned to discriminate with your time?

June 16, 2010

He's Your Man!: Confidence to Live Your Calling as His Wife

Filed under: Interruptions,Respect for husbands,Wives,celebrate life,confident living,priorities — Brenda @ 6:54 pm

Your Man, Your Priority

“Hey, hon, you want to meet for coffee?” My husband eagerly anticipated an impromptu date. The pouring rain had put his construction site on hold.

“Umm, sure, we can do coffee.” I tried to sound enthusiastic, but my to-do list was haunting me. I was on my way to drop Kerry off for camp, pick up my printing, then head home for a long list of chores which included getting ready for vacation in six days.

After I dropped off Kerry my husband called back. “Hey, can you come early for coffee?” The rain had stopped and he was ready to get as much done as he could before the rain returned. I let him know I understood and we could skip our coffee date. I was relieved but felt a pang of guilt.

I had established my to-do list as priority over my husband. There was nothing on my list that could not wait while I had coffee with my husband. What about the “living in the moment” epiphany I had that morning about my daughter? Shouldn’t that apply to my husband? I hate to admit it, but I assume we will always have plenty of time together. Right? No. Life is terribly unpredictable as two of my widowed-too-young friends will tell you. One lost her husband to cancer, the other to a car accident. Both men were in their 40’s.

The thing is I say Gene is my priority, but the reality is he is my priority during the hours I have allotted for him. I selfishly claim the time he is at work as my time to do my stuff. Gene never tries to interrupt my plans and is always respectful of my schedule. He just wanted a fun, spontaneous coffee date with his wife and she couldn’t see past her to-do list to what really mattered—her man.

Today was my chance to practice what I preach. While in town this morning running errands, I called Gene to see if he could do an impromptu lunch date. His work had taken him to a nearby town for the day. One these days we’ll get the timing right, because we’ve made each other our priority.

June 14, 2010

It’s Monday, again, Mom.

Filed under: Fun,Kids,Overwhelmed women,Teens,confident living,moms,priorities — Brenda @ 4:10 pm

“I Won’t Let Go of You Ever.”

Disclaimer: This blog may cause a tear or two. It starts a bit sentimentally, but hang in there with me.

“ ‘I won’t let go of you ever.’ I used to say that to you, Mom, and then you would tickle me to make me let go.” My sixteen year-old daughter casually shared that memory with me on the eve of her going to summer camp. Ugh. I felt the stab of regret. Oh, how I wish I could go back to those days and take it back and let her hang on forever.
The memory is fresh, but buried under piles of today’s issues—things to do, plans to make, worries to stew over. How did I get so far removed from those precious moments? My baby grew up. She turned into a teenager. And though she is a fabulous young woman, she is still a teenager. That means she is no longer my baby. She is separating from me and growing into her own person. Those heart-to-heart moments are fewer.
Grab your tissue and dab, dab. No more sentimentality.
What do I do with the regret, with the tinge of sadness of her childhood gone forever? I yank myself into the present. This morning I took her to the church to go to camp. We had a few extra minutes to so we went to Starbucks.
“Do you want to sit here for a few minutes or head to the church?” I maturely gave her the choice.
“Let’s stay here.” She smiled up at me as she took the first sip of her vanilla frappacino.
My heart smiled and I’m sure my face showed it. We sat at a little table by the window and talked and laughed about nothing. She shared a bit of her whipped cream with me and for ten minutes I was in Mommy Bliss. I refused to think about anything other than her. I did what is normally hard for me—I lived in the moment. No mulling over everything I had to do today. Just me and my girl. Ahh. It was sweet.
Mom, I know you’ve heard this 1,000 times, but it’s true, your kids won’t always be this age. This summer live in as many of their moments as you can. You will forever be thankful you didn’t let go before it was time.

June 1, 2010

I Did Not Sign Up For This

Filed under: Disappointment,Encouragement,Failure,Hard Times,Index cards,Interruptions,Overwhelmed women,celebrate life,discouragement,priorities — Brenda @ 4:13 pm

I started the morning doing something not on my index card list—cleaning up the dog’s mess. I’ll let your imagination or perhaps your personal experiences fill in the details for you. While doing this with the best of attitudes, I declared loudly for anyone (really everyone) who was in earshot, “There must be a special reward in heaven for moms who clean up pet messes (again fill in your own details).” Seriously, I did not sign up for this.
As I was scrubbing brown from Kerry’s light blue carpet the thought occurred to me, Moms days are filled with things not on their index card. It’s their job description. Of course, the same can be said for every woman. For the most part, we are the core of our families and the nurturers (even at work). We make it happen for those who rely on us.
So how do we marry the urgent, which many times is important, with the list on our index cards?
• Know Your Priorities. I know I have said this a million times, but it is core to fulfilling the life God has for you. How else did Jesus know to stop for the woman who had been bleeding for twelve years, yet not stop for others who were also in great need? (Luke 8:43-48) Jesus knew and lived His priorities.
• Sensitivity to the Holy Spirit. I know this can sound a little vague, but when we lay down our agendas, fears, prejudices, all the things we have told God we will never do, and sinful habits we can more clearly hear the guiding of the Holy Spirit. Then we too can know who we are to take time for and who is not ours to take time for.
• Reign in Your Time Killers. Who or what kills your time? TV, facebook, texting, phone calls, a needy co-worker who never gets enough of you? We give these time killers precious time from our day that could be used for something God has for us, even if it’s ten minutes of peace and quiet before the next urgency presents itself (I was eating a stack of delicious pancakes when Kerry discovered the dog’s mess in my room.) We are big girls now. No more excuses. Reign in your time killers. Give them the appropriate amount of time (some may need to go altogether) and then get on to the next thing.
Kerry’s carpet is clean and drying now. The blog is done and I’m off to the next thing on my index card. My day most likely won’t look like I planned, but it will be what God planned.
How do you handle that for which you did not sign up for in your life?

May 4, 2010

Bible Study Tuesday–Really the Last One

Filed under: Bible Study,Christian living,Comparison,Confidence,Encouragement,Life as God's Girl,Princess Unaware,Relationship with God,Walking with God,celebrate life,confident living,next step in life,persistence,priorities — Brenda @ 11:55 pm

This week was my answers to your questions. In the notes below I answer two questions. However, a third question came in at the last minute and I discussed it without notes. Let me know if you would like the information we discussed on difficult relationships and I will work it up for next week.

The Journey

Both of the questions I received this week can be answered in a discussion on “The Journey.” That’s what you are about to begin. You have finished Princess Unaware and hopefully you have lots to think about and put into practice in your years to come—in your journey. So I want to discuss a few things to encourage you and help you persevere on your journey.
First, I’m not sure if we discussed what I mean by “your calling.” Your calling is the fabulous life God planned for you. It is the family you have, your spiritual gifts, your talents, maybe a career, your ministry—anything God brings to into your life for you to do. He also gives us a passion. Is there something or a group of someone’s that you want to help? A cause or ministry that you are dying to contribute to? The answer to those questions is your passion.
One question I received asked if our callings could change. Depending on how you define calling I would say yes. God can do whatever He likes in our lives. I do believe our gifts are pretty much ours for life. I have been very much who I am today all my life. It has taken many years for me to acknowledge and embrace that though. My passion is for women to know God’s truth and for them to live fabulous lives as a result of living in that truth. Sometimes I am passionate about moms of little ones, or moms of teens, or women in general.
Now we can discuss our journey. The details will look different for everyone, but it will be much the same for everyone.
I began my journey when I married Gene. I didn’t know it then, but the man he is and the life we have lived together has perfectly prepared and launched me in the journey God planned for me. As I shared before, many years ago, before Kerry was born God put in me a desire to speak God’s truth to women. It started small and I didn’t know what I was feeling at first. Over the months it grew and because it seemed to impossible and not at all “my style” I ignored it like a package delivered to the wrong address but with no return address. What do I do with it? It’s here and it’s not going anywhere.
The desire grew and finally I had the nerve to share it with Gene. After more months of frustration because I had this thing in me and I didn’t know what to do with it or how to quiet it, Gene urged me to do the only thing we knew to do—I had a friend whose sister-in-law was a writer. So I talked with her then with the sister-in-law. Nothing happened from those conversations, but that was then God started moving events along.
God: Solution
Let’s look briefly at another hero of mine—Caleb. Joshua 14. Caleb has a great story about his journey. Back Story in Numbers 14. Start reading Joshua 14:6.
Verse 7—Caleb was 40 when he was given his big mission. 40. Caleb spent those 40 years becoming the man we see in Numbers 14. You girls are so young. You are in the years of laying your foundation and of taking your roots deep in the Lord. Do it well. You are going to need all the strength and wisdom of the Lord to raise your families.
Verse 8—Read it. Which of these will we be—will we cause others’ faith to fail or will we “follow the LORD my God wholeheartedly.” The NASB reads, “I followed the LORD my God fully.”
Verse 9 goes on to quote Moses commending Caleb and promising him the land he spied out because “you have followed the LORD my God fully.”
Verse 10—Caleb “followed the LORD fully” for 45 more years. That’s a lifetime of dedication and focus on living for God.
Verse11—I believe because of this Caleb states, “I am still as strong today as I was in the day Moses sent me; as my strength was then, so my strength is now, for war and for going out and coming in.”
Verse 12—He asks for the hill country with the giants and fortified cities. He believes God for big things as God promised.
Verse 14—Hebron became Caleb’s, but he had to fight for it. And he did because “he followed the LORD fully.”
You: Application
What can we learn about our journey from Caleb and his amazing journey?
• Follow God fully all our days.
• This is a lifelong assignment. Discuss the hazards of today’s society to make an idol out of everyone making it seem they are the norm.
• Keep your blinders on. Don’t compare. Everyone’s assignment is different.
• God is not in a hurry. Caleb was 85 years old before he took his promised territory! Why are we in such a hurry? We have all the life God has given us and He doesn’t intend on wasting a minute of it.
• Stay strong physically, emotionally, spiritually, and mentally. And get your house in order—literally. The organizing you do today will make your ability to move when God says move possible and immediate because you won’t be looking for the car keys, unpacking the suitcases from last summer’s vacation, or trying to pay the overdue bills.
• Believe and live the truth—As long as you are alive, God has a plan and mission for you. Nowhere in the Bible does God promise retirement.

Congratulations, you are the strong confident princesses. Live it well!

April 11, 2010

The Amazing Index Card

Filed under: Confidence,Encouragement,Failure,Index cards,Not perfect,Organization,Overwhelmed women,confident living,discouragement,priorities — Brenda @ 2:12 am

You know I’m all about confidently living your calling. And while much of confidently living our callings depends on believing God’s truth, some of it boils down to just getting our acts together. How many times have you gotten your act together but then couldn’t remember where you put it. Old joke, I know, but so true.
My organizational anxiety lies not only in not finding my act, but in the always present nagging in my mind that I’ve forgotten something—not a small-no-one-will-notice something, but a big-everything-depends-on-this-detail something.
A couple of weeks ago God gave me a recollection and revelation on how to get my brain together and alleviate its nagging. I remembered a few years ago a friend took me to the airport. I noticed on her dashboard an index card with a list of everything she needed to do that day. I remember thinking That’s cool. Now I know how she remembers everything she does. Then my thoughts turned to wondering if I would be able to figure out the new kiosk at the airport to get my ticket.
Back to the present and why this all matters–One area of my kitchen counter space is a mess.( Once my precious mother-in-law said to me, “Why don’t you clean up that mess?” You must know she was a dear woman and never interfered, and even then she wasn’t interfering, just wondering. ) It is full of papers, a jar of markers, stapler, tape, etc. Paper control is not my thing. Also I have this fear (and it is based on past experiences) that if I put something away I won’t be able to find it or I will forget about it all together. So my mind feels more in control if I can see everything—yep, the whole mess.
The day of my recollection and revelation I was standing at the messy counter wondering how I would deal with it all. I’m not sure how God started the conversation, but I remember He said to me—List everything you need to do tomorrow on an index card.
I thought What a great idea! The Amazing Index Card Principle!
• I use one index card for every day.
• Write the day at the top.
• One the left side list what needs to be done today. If there are more tasks than lines you have too much going on and you need to prioritize and purge.
• On the right side list items that need to be soon but not today. I also like to list projects I need to think about before I start them or errands to be ran when I get out.
• As you finish a task check it off. The best part!
• At the end of the day transfer the items that did not get done to the next day’s card or move an item from the right to the left.
A couple of precautions:
• Don’t let this amazing index card become a tyrant master. The index card is to help you not enslave you.
• The index card never trumps relationships. This week was Kerry’s spring break so we painted her room. The second day of painting we worked so long that I didn’t get to most of the items on the card. No big deal—they transferred to the next.
Since I have been using my precious, amazing index cards (never one for Sunday—day off!), I have experienced much less stress. I cleaned off the messy counter space and I don’t worry about where the papers and details have gone. It’s all on my index card. I am making progress on projects that used to haunt me. One more benefit—when all the items are crossed off the card, I’m done for the day! Adding more items is not allowed. My oldest daughter is an artist and a procrastinator. She has been using her index cards and feels so accomplished.
I hope this idea helps. I would love to hear if it does and I would love for you to share any simple organizational tips that work for you.

March 30, 2010

Bible Study Tuesday–Looking Over Our Shoulder

Filed under: Bible Study,Christian living,Comparison,Confidence,Encouragement,Life as God's Girl,Overwhelmed women,Princess Unaware,Relationship with God,Trusting God,Walking with God,confident living,discouragement,priorities,saying no — Brenda @ 7:16 pm

Princess Unaware–Chapter 8
Principle of Blinders
God is so fun, isn’t He? Last week after I spoke on setting and living our priorities, I had to opportunity to put it into practice. My schedule had taken on a life of its own, dragging me along for fun. It needed to be tamed, but that meant that certain people who did not make the top of my list were not going to be happy when they discovered that fact.
Also, I talked with my doctor’s nurse last week and my high blood pressure is here to stay, so exercise and eating right will take permanent residence at the top of my priority list.
It was not a fun week of living out my priorities. I was misunderstood. I don’t have much discretionary time as my friends so I must say no often. Ick. I hate that. I want to be part of the party instead of at home working. Don’t get me wrong. I love the life God has given me, but I want it all—all my life and some of what others have as well. They seem to have lots of time to have lunch and hang out. They don’t seem to have deadlines nipping at their heels, or young adult kids randomly popping in and out, calling, texting, or needing rides. I love it, but like I said I’m tempted to want it all—the full, satisfying role of mom/author and the free time to do with what I like.
We: Identification
What about you? Do you find yourself looking into a friend’s life and wishing you had part of it? Do you ever look at a friend and wish you had her waistline, curly hair, or porcelain complexion? Do you ever wish your husband was as spiritual as hers?
I think most women struggle with the temptation to compare any or all parts of our lives to someone else’s. It is a most effective tool of Satan’s, because we compare the area we feel we are lacking to the area we feel is their strength and we come up short. Then we sit in our self-pity and are useless.
God: Solution
That is one reason God instructs us to not compare ourselves to others. In John 21 Jesus gave Peter strong words regarding this temptation.
At the beginning of John 21we find the disciples feeling and acting like lost boys. Jesus has appeared to them off and on, but He hasn’t given them a final word of mission. They don’t know what’s next (a whole other lesson), so they are hanging around. They go back to what they know—fishing. They don’t catch anything. Then Jesus showed up and told them to try on the right side of the boat. They caught more fish than they can handle. Finally they discover it’s Jesus. Peter was so excited that he jumped out of the boat and swam to shore. Jesus had prepared a fire with fish cooking and fresh bread. They ate their first meal together since the Last Supper. What a great time!
After breakfast Jesus talked directly to Peter. (verses 15-18) He gave Peter the chance to express his love for Jesus after his denial of Jesus before His crucifixion. Jesus also gave Peter his life mission—feeding and shepherding the church.
Think about all Peter enjoyed in this short morning—seeing Jesus, eating a perfect breakfast with his resurrected Lord, the sweetest of fellowship, hope restored, a personal commissioning by Jesus. Does it get any better?
What did Peter do next? Something silly like we would do—(verse 20-21) Peter turned around—away from the intimate conversation he was having with Christ—and saw John following them. In this context “see” means to know, behold, consider, have knowledge of. This was more than a glance to see who’s behind him. Peter turned his attention from Jesus to behold and consider what Jesus had for John—as if it’s any of his business.
So Peter asked Jesus, “What about him?” I don’t know if Peter was feeling especially “in” with Jesus or thought he had been elevated to “vice-Savior” in this conversation. For whatever reason Peter stepped outside what’s his and into what’s not his.
Jesus responded in His classic non fuzzy style—“If I want him to remain until I come, what is that to you? You follow Me!”
There are two messages we need to get here.
First, in essence Jesus is saying—No matter if I give your friend
• A husband who is a spiritual leader
• Four perfectly behaved children
• Legs that never stop
• Barbie’s waist and bustline
• Enough money for all her needs and wants
• An incredible career
• A successful, exciting ministry
• In-laws that are helpful and supportive
No matter if I give her all these things (which you will assume she has from your vantage point of comparison), “what’s that to you?” In other words it’s not our business. It’s getting our noses into “what’s not ours.” Here Jesus is telling us without a doubt or loophole to mind our own business. [Farmer visual here.]
The next thing Jesus is telling us is, “You follow Me!” This is the second time in a short conversation that Jesus told Peter to follow Him (verse 19). Now the second time, Jesus is more explicit. He lets Peter know exactly what He wants him to do—Follow Me!
Follow here means to “be in the same way,” “to accompany.” Peter was to follow where Jesus led him. As Jesus previously told Peter, that would be to feed and shepherd the church—as if that weren’t enough!
Jesus’ words are for us too. “You follow Me!” We are to put on our blinders and see only what is ours from Christ. We are not to lift them as Peter did and look at what is our friends’ from Christ. Jesus tells us to follow Him. To go where He leads us.
You: Application
This week notice how many times you are either tempted to or actually do compare any part of your life or yourself to others. Acknowledge the thought (don’t deny it) then address it–Is this mine or is this not mine?
If it’s not yours, then don’t concern yourself with it. Elizabeth Elliott said, “I am to mind my own business and I have discovered that very few things are my business.” (my paraphrase)
Praise God for all He is blessing your friends with and then get your focus back on Jesus’ plan for you.
• Make a list of your husband’s best qualities.
• Make a list of the things each of your children do that makes you smile.
• Make a list of the five things you love about your home.
Then change the next diaper. Switch the next load of laundry. Do whatever the next thing is God has given you to do. It probably won’t be glamorous or exciting, but it’s yours!
Conclusion:
If it’s on your to-do list from the Lord, it has eternal value!
We: Inspiration
Oh, what freedom and joy we would experience if we would never again compare or behold our sister’s life. If we would feel her pain, celebrate in her victories, and love her as we love ourselves. Oh, what freedom and joy we would experience if we would stay in step with our Lord.

Who do you most often turn around from your relationship with Christ to “behold” the good things in their lives? How will you stop and keep your focus on following Christ? I would love to hear.

March 23, 2010

Bible Study Tuesday--Priorities--The Wisdom to Know What's Ours and What Not

Filed under: Christian living,Confidence,Life as God's Girl,Princess Unaware,Relationship with God,confident living,priorities,saying no — Brenda @ 11:59 pm

Years ago I allowed certain people in my life to have my attention and help whenever they desired. If they called I listened for hours to their woes (they never wanted or heeded my advice). If someone felt overwhelmed all they had to do was call and I would be there (whether or not the need was legit). It was a messy and dysfunctional relationship. But I thought I was doing the right thing. Finally, God slowly showed me that something wasn’t right. I was out of His will for my life. This was not what He planned for me. Their issues were not mine. God began to show me my priorities and how to live them.

Do you ever feel pulled in a million directions? So many people expecting so many things from you. Maybe your extended family or your in-laws intrude into areas that aren’t theirs. Maybe the leadership at your church keeps asking for more and more and it’s invading your time with your family. Maybe a friend just won’t be happy until you volunteer in the same place she does. Maybe your child’s school never ceases to have a need and you have a hard time saying no.

Others can never get enough of us. The problem is there is only so much of us—of our time, energy, presence. So we need to learn what is ours to do and what is not. That’s where defining our priorities come in.
Jesus is a great example of living His priorities.
~He knew His purpose on earth.
In John 4:34 Jesus tells the disciples His purpose on earth, “My food is to do the will of Him Who sent me and to finish His work.” That is a succinct mission statement. And how did Jesus know what the will of God was?
Answer: John 8:28-29, “I do nothing on my own but speak just what the Father has taught Me. The One Who sent Me is with Me; He has not left Me alone, for I always do what pleases Him.” Jesus knew God’s will because He listened to what God told Him—taught Him. I’m sure this happened in part during the times Jesus pulled away from everyone for time with God.
We can know what God has for us by following Jesus’ example:
•Have a heart open to God’s Word and leading. We can’t have our way and God’s way. Jesus made it very clear He was here to serve and please God only.
•Spend time listening to God in His Word. So many ways to study the Bible. Don’t make it complicated. Read your way through a book of the Bible. Ask God He wants you to know what each verse or story is telling you. Write it in a notebook. I figure if God has something to say to me, it’s important enough to write it down.
•Pray. Talk to God like you would a friend. Then listen. Sometimes He starts talking when I’m talking. Then I know to shut up and listen and write. Again if God has something to say to me, I better get it written down.
~Jesus owned God’s will for Him.
Own what God shows you. To do that you must first empty out what you hold near and dear.
Visual Part: Load my arms (bosom) up with all my stuff. Then other people’s stuff because I can’t say no or I feel guilty. Then have Libby pile on God’s stuff.
I can’t own God’s will for me because I can barely see it.
Briefly explain deciding priorities as on pages 163-165, 177-178.
Visual: Go thru the stuff and say, “Mine. Not mine.” The “mine” gets put in my arms. The “not mine” stays on the table. Talk about each item as Libby puts it in my arms so the gals have an idea of how this works. Have Libby reload with God’s stuff first and what’s left with my stuff.
Do you see why we need to say no to what is not for us? We don’t have room for it.
When God’s stuff is close to our bosom it is near and dear to us. It is what drives us. What is important to God becomes what is important to us—so important we eagerly forsake our stuff.
~Jesus lived God’s will for Him.
Read from Bible Luke 4:42-43. The previous day Jesus healed many people and drove demons out of many people. “I must preach the good news of the kingdom of God to the other towns, because that is why I was sent.” (emphasis mine) Preaching to other towns was His. Staying there and doing more ministry was not His (even though it sounded Christian.)
For Jesus living God’s will was so strong a driving force in Him that He forsook other needs (and they were real) to continue with what God purposed for Him to do.
Jesus knew why He was sent and He lived it. I think when we really know why we are here, that passion will burn to hot in our hearts that we would have to fight to put it out. We will be compelled to live it. (Check out 1 Cor. 9:6.) We will know so confidently what is ours that we won’t let anything stand in our way from living it.
That happens when we put God’s stuff near and dear to our hearts. My stuff is ok if it’s not against God (sin). It is part of who I am (creative, physical, social, etc.) but it doesn’t rule my life.
You: Application
So what is your stuff?
• Go home and gather representations of it.
• Then physically lay it on the floor at the feet of God.
• Ask God what is His stuff for you. (Some of your stuff maybe God’s stuff, too.) You know first and foremost it’s to glorify Him and have relationship with Him so you can start with your Bible and journal (represents my relationship with God).
• After God has showed you all that is yours these are your priorities. These are the people and responsibilities that are yours—yours from God. The time given to each one will change as the seasons of our lives change. New ones may be added and some drop off.
• Give these priorities your best. Guard them. Defend them to the death. Graciously and lovingly say no to anyone who tries to intrude on them.
• Don’t take on anything that is not yours.
We: Inspiration
Remember at the beginning I said I was misunderstood? I am still misunderstood and most likely will always be. But I am in the center of God’s will, living the plan He has for me. My life is much simpler and more joyful and satisfying. I am not involved in drama or pulled away from what is mine.
Imagine your life after you know what is yours from God. Imagine the peace and joy you will have when you embrace what is yours from God and forsake what is not yours.

March 9, 2010

Bible Study Tuesday–Life as a Believer 101

Filed under: Christian living,Encouragement,Life as God's Girl,Relationship with God,Trusting God,adventure,life changes,next step in life,persistence,priorities — Brenda @ 7:00 pm

Story from book of being in Target with girls. I know the impression I give doesn’t always say follower of Christ.

What about you when you’re out and about?
• Do you drive crazy even with the fish symbol on your car?
• Are you kind and thoughtful in public? (story of Jill’s experience at bookstore)
• Do you smile at others?
• Do you merge politely or drive bumper-to-bumper so no one can get in front of you?
• Do you include others or let them stay on the sidelines lonely and uncomfortable?

How we live our lives both in public and private are part of our testimony—what we are saying about Jesus to others.

God feels pretty strongly about our testimonies—about how we live our daily lives.
“Only conduct yourselves in a manner worthy of the gospel of Christ.” Philippians 1:27.
Wow. Think about it. “Worthy of the gospel of Christ.” There is no way we will ever live in a way that is worthy of the gospel of Christ. But it is our goal, our call, our job description.
Let’s see if we can begin to get our minds around this call.
First what is the gospel of Christ?
• We are all sinners. Romans 3:23. No one is perfect. Even the slightest imperfection/sin disqualifies us.
• The penalty for sin is death. Romans 6:23. The consequences of our sin is death—spiritual death—not ceasing to exist, but eternity separated from God in hell.
• Jesus, God’s perfect, holy Son—equally God, equally man—came to earth, lived the perfect life and then gave Himself totally (all God and all man) to pay the penalty for our sins. We are made right and perfect to God and we enjoy relationship with Him as a precious child of His. Romans 5:6-11, 21.

That’s it. That’s the Gospel of Christ—totally awesome Son of God gives His life for totally unworthy slugs (and sinners) so we can have a totally awesome life here and forever with God and Jesus.

So how do we live a life worthy of the Gospel of Christ? What does God want from us? Let’s take a look at a verse I like to call “Life as a Believer 101.” I like things boiled down. Let’s get to the heart of the issue. Say what you mean and mean what you say. Don’t assume I can or will understand your innuendoes. I will most likely miss it altogether.
The text for our “Life as a Believer 101” class is Micah 6:8.
“He has showed you, O man, what is good.
And what does the LORD require of you?
To act justly and to love mercy
and to walk humbly with your God.” Micah 6:8

Require—to seek or ask, specifically to worship. The three “requirements” of God are part of our worship of Him. Our purpose on earth is to glorify God and have relationship with Him–worship. So living out this verse is an extension of our worship and to be woven into every area of our lives. “Living as a Believer 101.” Things we are to do every day, all day.

~Act justly—a verdict; formal decree.
The first “requirement” in our life of worship is to be fair and just to everyone. No preference. This totally throws out treating some people with more respect than others. Everyone deserves our smile and kindness.

~To Love Mercy—
• Love—affection
• Mercy—kindness, favor, good deed.
The next way we worship God is to have an affection for others and to be kind, showing favor to others (not over others, but ourselves). Philippians 2:3-4, “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.”
Do you let the other person go ahead of you, even if you were there a split second first? Treat your kids as patiently as you treat your husband, your best friend, the pastor.
~Thoughtfulness.
~Words of encouragement/compliments.
~Be the first to speak to others.

~Walk Humbly with your God.
• Walk means walk. Literally walk with God. Keep in step with Him. Go where He goes at the speed He goes. No lagging behind or rabbit trails.
• Humbly—lowly. It’s an attitude that says “I know You are God and I am not, therefore, I will trust you with my life and not think I know better than You.”

The third requirement is to keep in step with God in humility. Example of Riley on leash pulling me her direction, her speed, stopping to sniff all road kill, barking at other loser dogs who are in an electric fence. She does not walk with me and she definitely is not humble in any way. She is out of the house and she is going to do her best to have her fun her way.

But when I put the harness on her, her attitude changes. She is unable to pull me or zigzag or jump. She must walk humbly with me. We have a great walk then. We stay on the road. We stay in step and both of us benefit from a good workout—no waste of time chasing rabbit trails (literally). She doesn’t get her nose filthy with roadkill germs.

When we walk humbly with God we are going where He says when He says. We benefit by accomplishing God’s plan for us. We have great fellowship with Him. We avoid the feelings of defeat or uselessness that comes with doing our own thing.

There are so many distractions in life and we have only so much time. We cannot stretch the hours in our day. We must make the most of what God has given us and the way we do that is by staying in step with God.

Again, I will pick on Facebook. Facebook is for this generation what the soap opera was to my mom’s generation—a huge waste of time wrapped in the packaging that read “harmless diversion.” It’s not all bad, but we must be careful.

What is keeping you from walking humbly with your God? Where have you thought you knew better than God? Over-extended budget? Going against your husband’s word? Time on Facebook with an old male friend?
As we have said before—walking humbly with God is one seemingly small yes at a time.

Now What?

How do we live this out? Pay attention to the little (there are no little things) in your life.

~First, are you a believer, a follower of Christ? If not think about the gospel of Christ. Do you believe you are a sinner—you have done/thought anything not pleasing to God—gone against God? Hey, we are all sinners. Don’t let your pride keep you from God. Like I’ve said before—we’re all in this boat together—no one better, no one worse.
If you’re not a follower, you can pray along with me silently in our three minutes of quiet time. (if you’re reading this you don’t need me. talk to you right where you are.)

~If you are a follower of Christ, do you get the gospel? I mean do you really get what God has done for you and does that drive you to sit at His feet, to know Him better, to let go of everything you think you must have in order to pursue everything He wants for you?

~If you are crazy in love with Christ and you are pursuing what He has for you, are you doing it in a way that makes the world notice? Not because you are advertising, but because you are so radical that your light shines in their darkness? Do you—
• Share a smile and kindness with everyone?
• Send a card of encouragement or bake a chocolate cake for someone struggling?
• Ask God what is important to Him today and then walk with Him? It may be cleaning the house or building a fort. It may be taking the whole gang on a walk and cleaning the house tomorrow (wrap the kids is old towel, spray them with Pledge and let them go nuts!). Lay down your agenda.

Inspiration
I dream of the day when I walk into the grocery store and every Christian woman is smiling back at me, when I hear the clerks whisper to each other “What are they on? I want some!” I dream of the day when a car with a fish on it does not speed around me to get to the church parking lot first and almost run over an elderly person trying to get the last parking spot. I dream of the day when we all will
• Act justly
• Love mercy
• Walk humbly with our God.

It’s Life as a Believer 101.

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