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July 8, 2010

He’s Your Man! Confidence to Live Your Calling as His Wife

Filed under: Christian living,Marriage,Wives,confident living — Brenda @ 5:10 pm

Wise or Foolish Wife?

I know, I know. This blog was due yesterday. So sorry. Summer is crazy. Yesterday was take-daughter-number-3-to-the-doctor-for-a-maybe-broken-finger-on-the-4th-of-July day. No broken bones just a torn ligament.
A couple of days ago I was considering what I should write about on marriage this week. An idea came to mind—but no, too personal. Then another idea came—again, no TMI (too much information). But then it occurred to me—that is the idea.
Our marriages are sacred to God and we are to keep them sacred. Hebrews 13:4 tells us to keep the “marriage bed. . . undefiled.” I believe that is true for all areas of our marriages. As wives we need to protect the holiness of our marriages by not sharing private information about our husbands. We are to hold tight their dreams, guard their insecurities, and be their number one girl.
Last week in an interview for “He’s Not a Mind Reader” the radio host asked me if I had Gene’s permission to share the stories I shared in the book. I said of course. I told him I was real, but now raw. No, our husbands aren’t perfect, but it’s not our job to advertise that. We are to be their helpers, their encouragers, to build them up and not tear them down. “The wise woman builds her house, but the foolish tears it down with her own hands” (Proverbs 14:1, NASB).
Are you building up your marriage and your man or are you tearing it down by sharing too much information with too many? We all need a close friend to vent with, but that’s it.
Bottomline: Take a minute with the Lord and let Him show you where you need to make changes. Then take it a day at a time, guarding your words and your husband.
Disclaimer: If you’re in a difficult marriage, seek wise, godly counsel. If you are enduring any kind of abuse, get professional help—pastor, counselor, law enforcement. Abuse is never a secret to be guarded. If the first person won’t help, go to the next until you get protection.

June 11, 2010

Live As God’s Girl: Confidence to Live Whatever God Calls You to

Filed under: Christian living,Confidence,Faith,Life as God's Girl,Prayer,Relationship with God,Walking with God,confident living — Brenda @ 1:22 pm

The Lie Between Me and God

I confess to you that lately my prayer life has been like the weak tea we drink with the flu instead of the strong, rich coffee I drink while spending the early morning dawn with the Lord. Yep, I’ve faithfully met with God morning after morning and recited my list of requests, but the passion and vigor are gone.
I’ve known for awhile my prayer life needed a jolt, but it’s hard to diagnose and treat oneself. Then a few days ago God reached down and handed me the antidote I desperately needed. On His prescription pad was written, “Satan’s greatest victory is when he convinces Christians their prayers are powerless.” I hadn’t totally bought into that lie, but it heavily tainted my prayers. Hey, I haven’t seen lots of answered prayer lately, so God’s gonna do what God’s gonna do. What’s the use? Right? Just look at the requests that have been on my list for years.
Closer examination of my sick prayer life revealed that I truthfully couldn’t even say I haven’t had answered prayer. My focus has been on me getting what I want. I haven’t looked past my selfishness to see what God has been up to in my life and on my behalf.
No wonder my prayer life is like weak tea (which I cannot stand even when I’m sick). I have not infused it with the strong, rich faith it needs to please God and invite Him to work in my life. “And without faith it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that He is, and that He is a rewarder of those who seek Him” (Hebrews 11:6, NASB).
For me realizing the truth is half my battle to obedience. Wow. So that’s what Satan was up to. No more weak tea for me. Now with each sip of my rich morning coffee I speak from my heart to God’s heart on specific items on my prayer list. Instead of harboring my disappointments, I share them with Him and let Him deal with them. No more reciting requests. God and I are having a conversation about a few things every morning. I do more listening and lots of thanking Him for caring and reaching down to work in my life.
Is your prayer life like weak tea or strong, rich coffee? Will you take time to have a conversation with God about something on your heart? I’d love to hear about it.

May 24, 2010

The Gatekeeper of Our Dreams

Filed under: Christian living,Confidence,Disappointment,Encouragement,Failure,Fighting Fear,Hard Times,New opportunites,Rejection,Writing/authors,adventure,discouragement,next step in life — Brenda @ 4:52 pm

“And don’t think we are the gatekeepers of your dream.”
“Well, they are,” I whispered to my friend sitting next to me, holding back the urge to jump up and yell Blasphemy!
My friend and I were at a writers’ conference sitting in on a panel of book editors. The editors were discussing the type of material they were looking for and what they wanted writers to know about their publishing houses.
Our strong reaction to his disclaimer (my friend had nodded in agreement) was brought on by our wrong belief that if the editors would just look at our material they would realize how amazing it was and publish our books and our dreams would come true. But after his comment, we felt rejected before he even looked at our work. Rejection is something a writer must deal with if she is going to be a professional writer.
Actors the same way. Yesterday one of my daughters learned she did not get the part she had hoped for. She worked hard to prepare. She has proven herself by doing the small roles with excellence. Surely, this was her year. The role went to someone less experienced. The rejection hurt and disillusioned her.
Rejection is a part of life. Everyone experiences it. Who hasn’t felt the pierce of rejection
• by a breakup/divorce?
• from children?
• from parents?
• from job loss?
• of not getting the job?
• from friends who don’t stay true?
What do we do when the one we think is the gatekeeper of our dreams locks us out? Our answer determines the kind of person we become and the direction of our life. Here are a few truths to help you with your answer:
1. Don’t take every rejection personally. Unless you have been grossly rude, irresponsible, immoral, or illegal, very often it’s more about them than you. The other person is just that—another person. They have limited knowledge and judgment. They have their own issues. It’s impossible to know why you were overlooked when you seemed to be the perfect one for the job, role, friendship, opportunity, etc.
I tried to give my daughter perspective—This is the opinion of one high school teacher. I’m not disrespecting the teacher or her position, but I wanted my daughter to gain perspective. There will be other roles and other directors.
Own whatever part you may have played in the rejection—real not perceived. Then know that not even Jesus pleased everyone all the time. How can we expect to?
2. Let this rejection grow you. Reflect and decide what you can do better next time. My first book, Queen Mom, was rejected several times before it was published. Each time the editors who rejected it gave me helpful advice to make it better. I listened and used their advice. Three years later it was published.
3. Consider redirection. Maybe this rejection is about you—not personally, but maybe God is trying to get your attention to try something else. My first attempt at writing was a novel. One of my friends has one of those can’t-believe-this-really-happened life stories. I thought God was directing me to turn her story into a based-on-real-life novel. I interviewed her once a week for several months. I wrote my proposal and went to a writers’ conference. A gracious editor from a well-known Christian fiction publisher looked over my work and asked me, “Where do you see the story going?” It was the next logical question, but I was speechless. At that moment God made it very clear that I am not a fiction writer. I went home and started working on Queen Mom.
4. Bottom Line—We are always in God’s hands and whatever comes to us is only through His permission (i.e. Job—as in “The Book of”). Through all my rejections (and there have been many) I rest in the fact that if God wanted me there I would be there and no one could prevent it. This doesn’t take away from my responsibility to work hard, prepare, learn, grow, and be a person of excellence and integrity. But, as we discussed last week, the results are always God’s.

Are you feeling the sting of rejection or maybe rejection knocked the wind out of you this time? Lick your wounds. Then decide, What is the truth in this situation? Now move forward accordingly. Sometimes we can’t make sense of the nonsense, so don’t hesitate to talk with someone wiser.
I would love to hear what you are doing with rejection.

May 17, 2010

A Life-Changing Sermon

Filed under: Christian living,Confidence,Encouragement,Hard Times,Life as God's Girl,Others' expectations,Trusting God,Waiting on God,Walking with God,Writing/authors,confident living,discouragement,parenting,persistence — Brenda @ 5:05 pm

For the past few months, really the past year, I have been seeking, striving, and desperate for God to answer for me one thing. Why, after much work, prayer, and opportunities, do I not have more to show for it all? What in the world am I doing wrong? If I do all I am supposed to do, won’t the result be as I expect when I expect it?
For those of you who faithfully read my blog you have heard me pose this question in various forms over the months. Sunday I received my answer directly from God.
Our pastor at Imago Dei Church was off this week and Pastor Eric Potter filled in for him. Eric’s words from God spoke directly to this question for which I am always seeking an answer. Eric taught on the parable of Jesus in Matthew 20—the workers in the vineyard. His whole sermon was powerful and I urge you to listen to it at www.imagodeichurch.org. But the part that spoke to me was near the end.
Eric made the point that the workers in this parable were day workers. They were the lowest class because they were not employed or even slaves with a master to care for and protect them. These men were grateful for any work they could get. These men thought it a privilege to work in the vineyard. They were grateful for the invitation to work in the vineyard. Interpreting the vineyard to be the kingdom of God and the owner of the vineyard to be God, I am the day worker. Wow. It hit me that I am not always especially thankful for the work God has given me to do for the kingdom. Ugh. A straight hit to my heart.
Then Eric gave us several questions to answer. One question—“What is my attitude about working in the vineyard?” further convicted me that my attitude has not always be one of gratitude. Oh, God, please forgive me. You have blessed me with work for the kingdom that I love. How can I be anything other than grateful?
His next question—“Am I working for reward or in response to the invitation?”–was the answer I had been searching for. I had been working for the reward. But the invitation was a privilege and that should have been my only motivation. This morning in my time with God, He took me to John 15 to further clarify His point. In John 15 Jesus is teaching on abiding in Him and when we do we bear fruit. But never does Jesus tell us to bear fruit or to concern ourselves with bearing fruit. He tells us to abide in Him. That’s our job. His job is to work through us to produce fruit. (John 15:4-5) As I abide in Christ—know Him better, trust Him, obey Him—I will bear fruit. It’s the result of my live lived in Christ.
Wow. I am so relieved! I’ve done all I know to do. Now I rest in God for Him to use my work as He sees fit. I started today with fresh perspective and renewed energy and excitement to do what God put in me to do and no worries over the results!
Thank you, Pastor Eric. Thank You, God, for patiently teaching this difficult child of yours and using her along the way.
I would love to hear where you have struggled to see results in your life—parenting, on the job, in your ministry. How does this truth change the way you will view your efforts for God?

May 12, 2010

A P.S. to Mothers’ Day

Filed under: Christian living,Confidence,Encouragement,Failure,Fear in parenting,Kids,Trusting God,confident living,moms,parenting,persistence,strong-willed kids — Brenda @ 1:43 pm

What keeps you from being the confident Queen Mom? What keeps you from being confident enough to teach and train your kids to respect you? I believe there are many answers—laziness, lack of know-how on your part (see Queen Mom!), or peer pressure (you don’t see any other moms doing this). But I think the most common reason is fear. We are fearful of so many things in our parenting. We fear:
• We will make an irreversible mistake with our kids.
• Because we don’t have a clue how to handle the current phase our kid is going through, and we didn’t have a good role model.
• Our child will say, “Make me!” and we won’t know what to do next.
• Because no other parent seems to parent the way we do, so we doubt our parenting philosophy.
Let’s consider a few truths to drive out our parenting fears.
1. Fear stops us from walking in faith. Hebrews 11:6, “And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to Him must believe that He exists and that He rewards those who earnestly seek Him.” The NASB says, “that He is.” In order to have a relationship with God we must first believe all He says about Himself is true. Fear convinces us that some of what God says about Himself is not true.
The enemy introduced this doubt into the very first mom, Eve. Genesis 3:1, “Did God really say. . .?”
• He will give you wisdom and discernment to parent this kid?
• He will give you strength and perseverance when you want to run away?
• Did God really say He cares more about your kids than you do?

2. Fight Fear with the Word of God. Eve had a good start against the serpent. When tempted, she quoted God’s Words to the serpent. He was shot down! (even for a moment) God’s Word in our minds is our best weapon against Satan’s attacks of fear.
One way to get it in our minds is to write the verses that speak right to us on index cards and review them throughout the day. Our minds are filled with so much garbage in a day. What a positive difference truth will make.
3. Don’t consider the lies and fears from the enemy. Consider only the Word of God. Don’t give the enemy a chance to get you down or fearful. He does not deserve your attention. You are God’s girl and the Queen Mom! Read Genesis 3:4-5. Notice that after Eve speaks God’s Word the enemy must try even harder to deceive. He causes Eve to pause and consider his lies. She then becomes fearful God is holding out on her and she sins. When we consider the lies of the enemy we become fearful and we back away from our role of Queen Mom.
4. You are the Queen Mom and God has a good plan for your family.
James MacDonald said, “Emotions make a great caboose, but not a great engine.” We must parent by God’s truth and not our emotions. Where our child is today emotionally and spiritually is not where she will stay. Today is not the last chapter. Through Eli’s story (1 Samuel 2:11-36) we saw the tragic results of a lifetime of weak parenting. God is on our side. His desire is for us to be strong, loving parents. Today is Day One to be the confident Queen Mom.*

I would love for you to share your fears in parenting. When we share them we see how powerless they are and when others read about your experience we are united in sisterhood in Christ and we are energized.

Answers to questions in #1:
• Proverbs 2:3-6; James 1:5-8.
• Isaiah 40:10-11; Joshua 1:5; Deuteronomy 31:8; “Complete weakness and dependence will always be the occasion for the Spirit of God to manifest His power.” Oswald Chambers
• The Cross and Blood of Christ.

*Go to the Resource Page and download the “Disrespect is Not an Option” resource to get you on your way to being the confident Queen Mom.

May 4, 2010

Bible Study Tuesday–Really the Last One

Filed under: Bible Study,Christian living,Comparison,Confidence,Encouragement,Life as God's Girl,Princess Unaware,Relationship with God,Walking with God,celebrate life,confident living,next step in life,persistence,priorities — Brenda @ 11:55 pm

This week was my answers to your questions. In the notes below I answer two questions. However, a third question came in at the last minute and I discussed it without notes. Let me know if you would like the information we discussed on difficult relationships and I will work it up for next week.

The Journey

Both of the questions I received this week can be answered in a discussion on “The Journey.” That’s what you are about to begin. You have finished Princess Unaware and hopefully you have lots to think about and put into practice in your years to come—in your journey. So I want to discuss a few things to encourage you and help you persevere on your journey.
First, I’m not sure if we discussed what I mean by “your calling.” Your calling is the fabulous life God planned for you. It is the family you have, your spiritual gifts, your talents, maybe a career, your ministry—anything God brings to into your life for you to do. He also gives us a passion. Is there something or a group of someone’s that you want to help? A cause or ministry that you are dying to contribute to? The answer to those questions is your passion.
One question I received asked if our callings could change. Depending on how you define calling I would say yes. God can do whatever He likes in our lives. I do believe our gifts are pretty much ours for life. I have been very much who I am today all my life. It has taken many years for me to acknowledge and embrace that though. My passion is for women to know God’s truth and for them to live fabulous lives as a result of living in that truth. Sometimes I am passionate about moms of little ones, or moms of teens, or women in general.
Now we can discuss our journey. The details will look different for everyone, but it will be much the same for everyone.
I began my journey when I married Gene. I didn’t know it then, but the man he is and the life we have lived together has perfectly prepared and launched me in the journey God planned for me. As I shared before, many years ago, before Kerry was born God put in me a desire to speak God’s truth to women. It started small and I didn’t know what I was feeling at first. Over the months it grew and because it seemed to impossible and not at all “my style” I ignored it like a package delivered to the wrong address but with no return address. What do I do with it? It’s here and it’s not going anywhere.
The desire grew and finally I had the nerve to share it with Gene. After more months of frustration because I had this thing in me and I didn’t know what to do with it or how to quiet it, Gene urged me to do the only thing we knew to do—I had a friend whose sister-in-law was a writer. So I talked with her then with the sister-in-law. Nothing happened from those conversations, but that was then God started moving events along.
God: Solution
Let’s look briefly at another hero of mine—Caleb. Joshua 14. Caleb has a great story about his journey. Back Story in Numbers 14. Start reading Joshua 14:6.
Verse 7—Caleb was 40 when he was given his big mission. 40. Caleb spent those 40 years becoming the man we see in Numbers 14. You girls are so young. You are in the years of laying your foundation and of taking your roots deep in the Lord. Do it well. You are going to need all the strength and wisdom of the Lord to raise your families.
Verse 8—Read it. Which of these will we be—will we cause others’ faith to fail or will we “follow the LORD my God wholeheartedly.” The NASB reads, “I followed the LORD my God fully.”
Verse 9 goes on to quote Moses commending Caleb and promising him the land he spied out because “you have followed the LORD my God fully.”
Verse 10—Caleb “followed the LORD fully” for 45 more years. That’s a lifetime of dedication and focus on living for God.
Verse11—I believe because of this Caleb states, “I am still as strong today as I was in the day Moses sent me; as my strength was then, so my strength is now, for war and for going out and coming in.”
Verse 12—He asks for the hill country with the giants and fortified cities. He believes God for big things as God promised.
Verse 14—Hebron became Caleb’s, but he had to fight for it. And he did because “he followed the LORD fully.”
You: Application
What can we learn about our journey from Caleb and his amazing journey?
• Follow God fully all our days.
• This is a lifelong assignment. Discuss the hazards of today’s society to make an idol out of everyone making it seem they are the norm.
• Keep your blinders on. Don’t compare. Everyone’s assignment is different.
• God is not in a hurry. Caleb was 85 years old before he took his promised territory! Why are we in such a hurry? We have all the life God has given us and He doesn’t intend on wasting a minute of it.
• Stay strong physically, emotionally, spiritually, and mentally. And get your house in order—literally. The organizing you do today will make your ability to move when God says move possible and immediate because you won’t be looking for the car keys, unpacking the suitcases from last summer’s vacation, or trying to pay the overdue bills.
• Believe and live the truth—As long as you are alive, God has a plan and mission for you. Nowhere in the Bible does God promise retirement.

Congratulations, you are the strong confident princesses. Live it well!

April 27, 2010

Bible Study Tuesday–Princess Unaware–A Few One More Things

Filed under: Bible Study,Christian living,Confidence,Encouragement,Hard Times,Life as God's Girl,Others' expectations,Princess Unaware,Relationship with God,Risks,The Unknown,Trusting God,Waiting on God,Walking with God,adventure,celebrate life,confident living,moms,next step in life,parenting — Brenda @ 7:06 pm

This is the last of the notes for Princess Unaware. Next week I will have questions and answers from the Bible study group.

I am famous for my “one more things.” After a conversation I have been known to call back with “one more thing.” With the gals I have mentored I have been known to email “one more thing.” My mind isn’t as quick as I would like and often after I’ve had a chance to think things through I come up with “one more thing” I would like to add.
So today as we finish this study I want to give you “a few one more things” that I want you to take and never forget and live out—things that we discussed that are important and things that we didn’t get a chance to talk enough about.

Here we go:
~God is crazy about you. Never ever forget and constantly remind yourself that God loves you. He wants a relationship with you—stuff and all. Visual aid with wagon full of stuff.
~Live a life worthy of the Lord. Colossians 1:10. Sure we all have stuff, but let’s give it to God and not wallow in it. No more making excuses for the way we are. What not to be—2 Timothy 3:6-7. Take what we have learned and live like God’s princesses.
~Throw off the fear. We’ve talked about this often this study. Fear makes us ineffective and it’s not God’s plan for us. 2 Timothy 1:7. A fearful attitude is not from God. This leads to the next one. . .
~Live with confidence—in your relationships; your marriage, your parenting, your ministry. We can because the last half of 2 Timothy 1:7 says, but a spirit “of power and love and discipline.”
• Power–We have the Holy Spirit in us and thru us. Our obedience with the Holy Spirit’s power accomplishes great things in our lives. Keep your accounts short with God and others. Then yield to what God wants, what He shows us next to do no matter how small. His Spirit then works through us to accomplish His plan and what we couldn’t do otherwise.
• Love –what is best for the other person. Let this definition guide you in your relationships.
• Discipline—woman up. Our lives are too important to waste on things that don’t matter. Take care of yourselves, your homes, your families, grow your relationship with the Lord, step out in faith to the next exciting thing He has for you.
~Get a mentor. I cannot tell you the depth my life has been changed by my mentor. Also, I cannot tell you how I have been blessed by the women I have mentored. Prayerfully consider who God would have you to ask. Your life will never be the same. When choosing my mentor I looked to a woman who was where I wanted to be when I was her age. Also consider being a mentor.
~When you don’t know what to do next, find out. Ask God or your mentor or someone who knows. James 1:5.
~Keep your mouths shut. Don’t say anything about anyone that you don’t want them to know you said. It will get back to them. James 3:3-12. I have sinned in this area and been caught and called on in it. People were hurt. It’s easy to avoid. Just don’t say anything about anybody. You will be surprised at the new depths your conversations go and at the freedom of not worrying if anything will be repeated.
~Quit caring about others’ opinions of you and your family. Matthew 15:1-14. Read v. 12-13. If you live the fabulous life God has for you, you will become a target for others to offer their opinions of how you are doing life all wrong. Go back through each of these points and live them. That is where your fabulous life is—not trying to keep others happy.
~Life is hard. God is faithful. Judges 6:1-16. Read 1-10. The Israelites were suffering because of their own disobedience.
Read v. 11-13. You may now be living the consequences of others’ sins and wondering why God abandoned you.
Read v. 14. “Go in the strength you have.” Do what you can do and then a little more (we all have a little more when pressed). Go back to the above instructions—get godly counsel. Don’t hide out in the winepress. Get in the game.
~”Am I not sending you?” Have you heard these words from God. Staying in the winepress, hiding from life is not an option. Yes, life is hard, but I have never done passed what I thought I could ever do and known God more than when I was facing an impossible-beyond-me situation and He said to me, “Am I not sending you?”
Read v. 15. I, too, responded as Gideon in v. 15, “But Lord, how can I? You know my background, my insecurities. I am not the best one for the job.”
Read v. 16. God has always been faithful to equip me, help me, put words in my mouth and strength in my legs as I stand and say what He wanted me to say.
Why do we look at others and think they have it all together so God is using them powerfully? Instead why don’t we look at others doing what God called them to and praise God for working mightily in them and through them? He will do the same for us.
You, precious warrior Princesses of the Lord’s, have so much of your fabulous life ahead of you. Wear your crown well.

I would love your comments or questions from this study. I will answer them next week.

April 20, 2010

Bible Study Tuesday–The Gift God Wants to Give and We Seldom Take

Filed under: Christian living,Confidence,Disappointment,Encouragement,Fighting Fear,Hard Times,Joy,Life as God's Girl,Relationship with God,The Unknown,Trusting God,Waiting on God,Walking with God,celebrate life,confident living,discouragement,facebook,life changes — Brenda @ 6:02 pm

Today’s Bible study started with a skit that Libby Snyder wrote. For the sake of space I did not include it. If you would like to read it, email me (contact page) and I will email it to you. What follows is the teaching portion of today’s study.

So what do you think the sucker represents?
That’s right. Joy. The sucker represents joy. In the midst of our messy lives God wants to give us joy.
The thought occurred to me the other day—in the midst of my messy life God put a tiny piece of joy—I think to see if I would nibble and then He would give me more. But I hesitated. Just like Libby I thought I can’t take this. Not now. I’m not ready for it. I have more to do before I can experience joy.

Have you ever been there? God puts a spark of joy in your heart and encourages you to let it burst into your whole heart, but you tell God, “Not now. Too much going on. I’ll get back to you when it’s the right time for joy.”

God has much to say about joy and as I learned studying for this lesson. The best place to camp for our study of joy is 2 Corinthians 6:1-10. This is a chunk of heavy-duty Scripture to chew on. Read verses 1-10. Go back to v. 1—Receive the grace of God—make it count. Grace here is from the same root as joy in v. 10 which we will get to in a minute. Here it means “divine influence upon the heart and its reflection in life, including gratitude.” So when Paul says, “not to receive the grace of God in vain” he means to let God work in you and change you and live it out, being grateful for everything God has done for you.
V. 2—Paul emphasizes this truth. He says, “Behold, now is ‘the acceptable time,’ behold, now is ‘the day of salvation.’ “ He is telling the reader—this is it. On earth it won’t get any better. We’re not going to get a better offer from God. Now He is offering us His grace—His involvement in our lives. We just need to get in a posture to hear and cooperate.
V.3—Paul tells us how to live out our faith—“giving no cause for offense in anything.” Keep out of trouble and stay away from anything that might discredit the ministry.
V. 4—Then he begins a lengthy list of situations/issues/conditions we may find ourselves in and tells us to present ourselves as servants of God in each one. Read thru them one by one.
V. 10—“as sorrowful yet always rejoicing.” This is the joy God was trying to get Libby to take hold of. The definition for joy in this verse means cheerfulness, calm delight, great gladness. As I said, it is from the same root as grace in verse 1 which means calmly happy or well-off. Paul is telling us as we present ourselves as servants of God we are going to go through some hard stuff, but in it all we are to have calm delight and be calmly happy.

Other definitions for joy throughout the Bible mean to be glad, clamor in acclamation of joy, shout for joy. These are used to describe times of celebration. When we are sorrowful, going through a hard thing, it is not appropriate to shout for joy. But it is appropriate to have calm delight.
But how?
• By knowing God has you covered. Deuteronomy 31:8. God got where we’re going ahead of us. He will be with us when we get there. He will not fail us. He will not forsake us—slow down the car tell us to get out while He picks up another sister, leaving us alongside the road till He comes back our way. That’s not the way God rolls. Because of all this He tells us to not fear or WHAT? What does it say—be dismayed—which is what we learned last week is the same as discouragement and we know what that leads to—disobedience! And we don’t want to go there so let’s back it up and we won’t fear what is causing our sorrowfulness because God has us covered—Deut. 31:8!
• Then we can start to flail closer to God. Get ourselves in a posture that says, “God, this stinks. I hate it. I don’t know what You’re doing here, but I want to be on track with You.”

As a family we end every day in Gene and my bedroom for prayer time (it is short and to the point). It gives us a few last moments to be together for the day. (I know for moms of little ones you have had enough moments in your day! When your kids get bigger you will grasp for each one.) We sit in our room and talk and be silly and Gene and Riley play. This is Riley’s favorite part of the day. When we head back to the bedroom she runs ahead of everyone and sits by the chair that Gene sits in, waiting for him to sit down and play with her. (Show picture of Riley at Gene’s feet.) See her smiling face? See her look of calm delight? Of calm happiness? You bet you do because no matter what happened that day she is now at the feet of her master and all is well.

Can we do that? Can we be as simple as my dog and sit with calm delight at the feet of our Lord?
There we will hear from Him and He may be saying we’re in for a wait, so we will need to get comfortable and in fellowship with Him through this time.
There we will hear from Him what to do next. But we can’t hear if we are at our own pity party. We can only hear Him if we are in a posture to hear.
So flail your sad little self to the feet of God. Sit. Reach out and take the sucker. Take the joy. Enjoy. It may be a long while till the time for shouts of joy come, but “Behold, now is the acceptable time” for joy!

Today in small groups we shared times of accepting God’s joy in the midst of a hard time and the challenge of doing so. Please feel free to share with me and the other readers your experience of taking God’s joy in the midst of a hard time or your struggle to do so.

As my youngest daughter would say–Sadness! Next week is our last week in Princess Unaware. I will continue to blog, but next week is the last lesson from Princess. See you next week.

One more thing–recently I took up residence on facebook. If that’s your thing check out my Brenda Garrison fan page and leave a note. I would love to see your pic on my page.

March 30, 2010

Bible Study Tuesday–Looking Over Our Shoulder

Filed under: Bible Study,Christian living,Comparison,Confidence,Encouragement,Life as God's Girl,Overwhelmed women,Princess Unaware,Relationship with God,Trusting God,Walking with God,confident living,discouragement,priorities,saying no — Brenda @ 7:16 pm

Princess Unaware–Chapter 8
Principle of Blinders
God is so fun, isn’t He? Last week after I spoke on setting and living our priorities, I had to opportunity to put it into practice. My schedule had taken on a life of its own, dragging me along for fun. It needed to be tamed, but that meant that certain people who did not make the top of my list were not going to be happy when they discovered that fact.
Also, I talked with my doctor’s nurse last week and my high blood pressure is here to stay, so exercise and eating right will take permanent residence at the top of my priority list.
It was not a fun week of living out my priorities. I was misunderstood. I don’t have much discretionary time as my friends so I must say no often. Ick. I hate that. I want to be part of the party instead of at home working. Don’t get me wrong. I love the life God has given me, but I want it all—all my life and some of what others have as well. They seem to have lots of time to have lunch and hang out. They don’t seem to have deadlines nipping at their heels, or young adult kids randomly popping in and out, calling, texting, or needing rides. I love it, but like I said I’m tempted to want it all—the full, satisfying role of mom/author and the free time to do with what I like.
We: Identification
What about you? Do you find yourself looking into a friend’s life and wishing you had part of it? Do you ever look at a friend and wish you had her waistline, curly hair, or porcelain complexion? Do you ever wish your husband was as spiritual as hers?
I think most women struggle with the temptation to compare any or all parts of our lives to someone else’s. It is a most effective tool of Satan’s, because we compare the area we feel we are lacking to the area we feel is their strength and we come up short. Then we sit in our self-pity and are useless.
God: Solution
That is one reason God instructs us to not compare ourselves to others. In John 21 Jesus gave Peter strong words regarding this temptation.
At the beginning of John 21we find the disciples feeling and acting like lost boys. Jesus has appeared to them off and on, but He hasn’t given them a final word of mission. They don’t know what’s next (a whole other lesson), so they are hanging around. They go back to what they know—fishing. They don’t catch anything. Then Jesus showed up and told them to try on the right side of the boat. They caught more fish than they can handle. Finally they discover it’s Jesus. Peter was so excited that he jumped out of the boat and swam to shore. Jesus had prepared a fire with fish cooking and fresh bread. They ate their first meal together since the Last Supper. What a great time!
After breakfast Jesus talked directly to Peter. (verses 15-18) He gave Peter the chance to express his love for Jesus after his denial of Jesus before His crucifixion. Jesus also gave Peter his life mission—feeding and shepherding the church.
Think about all Peter enjoyed in this short morning—seeing Jesus, eating a perfect breakfast with his resurrected Lord, the sweetest of fellowship, hope restored, a personal commissioning by Jesus. Does it get any better?
What did Peter do next? Something silly like we would do—(verse 20-21) Peter turned around—away from the intimate conversation he was having with Christ—and saw John following them. In this context “see” means to know, behold, consider, have knowledge of. This was more than a glance to see who’s behind him. Peter turned his attention from Jesus to behold and consider what Jesus had for John—as if it’s any of his business.
So Peter asked Jesus, “What about him?” I don’t know if Peter was feeling especially “in” with Jesus or thought he had been elevated to “vice-Savior” in this conversation. For whatever reason Peter stepped outside what’s his and into what’s not his.
Jesus responded in His classic non fuzzy style—“If I want him to remain until I come, what is that to you? You follow Me!”
There are two messages we need to get here.
First, in essence Jesus is saying—No matter if I give your friend
• A husband who is a spiritual leader
• Four perfectly behaved children
• Legs that never stop
• Barbie’s waist and bustline
• Enough money for all her needs and wants
• An incredible career
• A successful, exciting ministry
• In-laws that are helpful and supportive
No matter if I give her all these things (which you will assume she has from your vantage point of comparison), “what’s that to you?” In other words it’s not our business. It’s getting our noses into “what’s not ours.” Here Jesus is telling us without a doubt or loophole to mind our own business. [Farmer visual here.]
The next thing Jesus is telling us is, “You follow Me!” This is the second time in a short conversation that Jesus told Peter to follow Him (verse 19). Now the second time, Jesus is more explicit. He lets Peter know exactly what He wants him to do—Follow Me!
Follow here means to “be in the same way,” “to accompany.” Peter was to follow where Jesus led him. As Jesus previously told Peter, that would be to feed and shepherd the church—as if that weren’t enough!
Jesus’ words are for us too. “You follow Me!” We are to put on our blinders and see only what is ours from Christ. We are not to lift them as Peter did and look at what is our friends’ from Christ. Jesus tells us to follow Him. To go where He leads us.
You: Application
This week notice how many times you are either tempted to or actually do compare any part of your life or yourself to others. Acknowledge the thought (don’t deny it) then address it–Is this mine or is this not mine?
If it’s not yours, then don’t concern yourself with it. Elizabeth Elliott said, “I am to mind my own business and I have discovered that very few things are my business.” (my paraphrase)
Praise God for all He is blessing your friends with and then get your focus back on Jesus’ plan for you.
• Make a list of your husband’s best qualities.
• Make a list of the things each of your children do that makes you smile.
• Make a list of the five things you love about your home.
Then change the next diaper. Switch the next load of laundry. Do whatever the next thing is God has given you to do. It probably won’t be glamorous or exciting, but it’s yours!
Conclusion:
If it’s on your to-do list from the Lord, it has eternal value!
We: Inspiration
Oh, what freedom and joy we would experience if we would never again compare or behold our sister’s life. If we would feel her pain, celebrate in her victories, and love her as we love ourselves. Oh, what freedom and joy we would experience if we would stay in step with our Lord.

Who do you most often turn around from your relationship with Christ to “behold” the good things in their lives? How will you stop and keep your focus on following Christ? I would love to hear.

March 23, 2010

Bible Study Tuesday--Priorities--The Wisdom to Know What's Ours and What Not

Filed under: Christian living,Confidence,Life as God's Girl,Princess Unaware,Relationship with God,confident living,priorities,saying no — Brenda @ 11:59 pm

Years ago I allowed certain people in my life to have my attention and help whenever they desired. If they called I listened for hours to their woes (they never wanted or heeded my advice). If someone felt overwhelmed all they had to do was call and I would be there (whether or not the need was legit). It was a messy and dysfunctional relationship. But I thought I was doing the right thing. Finally, God slowly showed me that something wasn’t right. I was out of His will for my life. This was not what He planned for me. Their issues were not mine. God began to show me my priorities and how to live them.

Do you ever feel pulled in a million directions? So many people expecting so many things from you. Maybe your extended family or your in-laws intrude into areas that aren’t theirs. Maybe the leadership at your church keeps asking for more and more and it’s invading your time with your family. Maybe a friend just won’t be happy until you volunteer in the same place she does. Maybe your child’s school never ceases to have a need and you have a hard time saying no.

Others can never get enough of us. The problem is there is only so much of us—of our time, energy, presence. So we need to learn what is ours to do and what is not. That’s where defining our priorities come in.
Jesus is a great example of living His priorities.
~He knew His purpose on earth.
In John 4:34 Jesus tells the disciples His purpose on earth, “My food is to do the will of Him Who sent me and to finish His work.” That is a succinct mission statement. And how did Jesus know what the will of God was?
Answer: John 8:28-29, “I do nothing on my own but speak just what the Father has taught Me. The One Who sent Me is with Me; He has not left Me alone, for I always do what pleases Him.” Jesus knew God’s will because He listened to what God told Him—taught Him. I’m sure this happened in part during the times Jesus pulled away from everyone for time with God.
We can know what God has for us by following Jesus’ example:
•Have a heart open to God’s Word and leading. We can’t have our way and God’s way. Jesus made it very clear He was here to serve and please God only.
•Spend time listening to God in His Word. So many ways to study the Bible. Don’t make it complicated. Read your way through a book of the Bible. Ask God He wants you to know what each verse or story is telling you. Write it in a notebook. I figure if God has something to say to me, it’s important enough to write it down.
•Pray. Talk to God like you would a friend. Then listen. Sometimes He starts talking when I’m talking. Then I know to shut up and listen and write. Again if God has something to say to me, I better get it written down.
~Jesus owned God’s will for Him.
Own what God shows you. To do that you must first empty out what you hold near and dear.
Visual Part: Load my arms (bosom) up with all my stuff. Then other people’s stuff because I can’t say no or I feel guilty. Then have Libby pile on God’s stuff.
I can’t own God’s will for me because I can barely see it.
Briefly explain deciding priorities as on pages 163-165, 177-178.
Visual: Go thru the stuff and say, “Mine. Not mine.” The “mine” gets put in my arms. The “not mine” stays on the table. Talk about each item as Libby puts it in my arms so the gals have an idea of how this works. Have Libby reload with God’s stuff first and what’s left with my stuff.
Do you see why we need to say no to what is not for us? We don’t have room for it.
When God’s stuff is close to our bosom it is near and dear to us. It is what drives us. What is important to God becomes what is important to us—so important we eagerly forsake our stuff.
~Jesus lived God’s will for Him.
Read from Bible Luke 4:42-43. The previous day Jesus healed many people and drove demons out of many people. “I must preach the good news of the kingdom of God to the other towns, because that is why I was sent.” (emphasis mine) Preaching to other towns was His. Staying there and doing more ministry was not His (even though it sounded Christian.)
For Jesus living God’s will was so strong a driving force in Him that He forsook other needs (and they were real) to continue with what God purposed for Him to do.
Jesus knew why He was sent and He lived it. I think when we really know why we are here, that passion will burn to hot in our hearts that we would have to fight to put it out. We will be compelled to live it. (Check out 1 Cor. 9:6.) We will know so confidently what is ours that we won’t let anything stand in our way from living it.
That happens when we put God’s stuff near and dear to our hearts. My stuff is ok if it’s not against God (sin). It is part of who I am (creative, physical, social, etc.) but it doesn’t rule my life.
You: Application
So what is your stuff?
• Go home and gather representations of it.
• Then physically lay it on the floor at the feet of God.
• Ask God what is His stuff for you. (Some of your stuff maybe God’s stuff, too.) You know first and foremost it’s to glorify Him and have relationship with Him so you can start with your Bible and journal (represents my relationship with God).
• After God has showed you all that is yours these are your priorities. These are the people and responsibilities that are yours—yours from God. The time given to each one will change as the seasons of our lives change. New ones may be added and some drop off.
• Give these priorities your best. Guard them. Defend them to the death. Graciously and lovingly say no to anyone who tries to intrude on them.
• Don’t take on anything that is not yours.
We: Inspiration
Remember at the beginning I said I was misunderstood? I am still misunderstood and most likely will always be. But I am in the center of God’s will, living the plan He has for me. My life is much simpler and more joyful and satisfying. I am not involved in drama or pulled away from what is mine.
Imagine your life after you know what is yours from God. Imagine the peace and joy you will have when you embrace what is yours from God and forsake what is not yours.

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